this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2026
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You get paid $5000 per day for the rest of your life (matching inflation), but the American Kitchen Nightmares editors get to omnisciently and in real time control the sound effects in your life. Only you hear them, but you can never tune them out. Do you accept?
I guess I'll just cry through the sound effects with the $1.8 million dollars a year I'll have.
waterphone intensifies as you dab your tears with $100 bills
Only about $1.2 million after taxes though.
Can I invoice them from my LLC instead of taking out a salary?
That's gonna be weird during sex
You'll just have to turn up the volume on Cbat.
You pull it out, ready to go. She pulls out hers, and its bigger. kitchen nightmares sus sound effect plays
violin sting
Do it like me and just dont find a partner. Problem solved.
Absolutely.
waterphone noise
I don't watch the show. What kind of sounds/music are we dealing with here?
Here's an exaggerated tasting platter for you. I'll add that it's not that exaggerated (except for the boom at 1:36; I never heard that in the show).
Not the gonna lie, if the ominous music starts BEFORE I make a mistake or do something dumb in my everyday life, it would actually be helpful lol. The boom would work after dropping an epic response to win an argument, although I'll be the only one to hear it. The pump-up music would also be great when I need an adrenaline push.
Damn, even if it plays while the shit hits the fan it would be pretty helpful - i'm not the best at reading social cues.
"My Ramsay senses are tingling."
Internal monologue switches to "I'm an Idiot Sandwich."
I wasn’t sure what the deal was until I saw this and was inclined to say no but now I’m sold, I don’t even want the money.
How about I reach out to the editors and offer them 80% of that money to not play any sound effects? Though the interpretation of the editors in question being humans implies they will still know everything about my life in realtime, and I'm not sure I'd take that kind of sacrifice
If I can block the sounds by wearing headphones I would take it in a heartbeat but even if I cant block them, well, I would still do it because I have tinnitus 🤷
It's a purely psychological thing inside your brain; it will cut through the tinnitus. You can't loophole your way around it; you have to hear the sounds at the same noticeable volume a person with normal hearing would.
I guess, I ll suffer with the money and wipe my tears with it. 🥲
Yes I want a home in California big enough for a family. I don’t see any other way of accomplishing that.