this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2026
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that's a problem with your ego, not the relationship.
the point of a relationship isn't to 'win'. if you are trying to compete with your partner you're going to be miserable.
Yeah, among other things. It's an aspect of the relationship that required quite a bit of emotional growth early on and still requires maintenance work. I mostly commented because it's the sort of thing that sounds awesome when you don't have it, is awesome once you've learned to have it, and can really exacerbate any self esteem issues and highlight struggles communicating issues you're experiencing when you're new to it.
I likely just projected my experiences of the tumultuous early stages of what has grown into a deeply happy marriage onto this post because in it I saw a younger version of myself struggling not to catastrophize and worry that the best person I ever met for me would realize I wasn't good enough for her after a conflict.