this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2026
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You can either be right, or be happy. Sounds like the librarian wants to be right
That's not true at all.
My gf has awful logical reasoning skills. Which leads to her being wrong on many small arguments that can easily be proved with simple logic.
There is no amount of reasoning that will make her change her mind. So in the end, she is always right because there is no other option. That is incredibly frustrating and I end up being neither "right" nor happy.
that's why you break up. that isn't a good relationship. you are going to be miserable and it's only going to get worse.
I'm much happier single and learning, than dating a stubborn/stupid person who makes both of us miserable with their horrible decision making, who expects me to be the only adult in the relationship. Especially as I want to have kids too, and it would be many times worse.
Yeah, it's tough. But she has in the past shown that she tries to fix toxic traits of her, so I hope with time I can eventually teach her how to use logic for reasoning.
Luckily neither of us want to have children. Because I can handle not being right and I don't depend on her. But a child would live a nightmare.
I think that stance only really holds when talking about arguments where you can't reasonably convince the other person. Like, I'd be frustrated if my wife was conceding arguments just to make me happy, I don't want to stay wrong. But I have had the thought when coming down of "why is it that I'm always the unreasonable one", and given that I was coming down from an argument it was not charitably toned.
Being right or happy is more about someone being in the wrong. If you think it's normal to wear shoes in the house and your partner doesn't, it doesn't matter that your area is largely pro shoe in home, if it matters to your partner the wise choice is to accept that their happiness with the situation is more important to you than winning the fight or even getting to keep wearing shoes at home.
When you have a partner like the librarian you also often have to ask if you want to win or be right. And if the answer is win you need to really ask yourself why, because if your partner is right and you'd still rather win, something is wrong. Hopefully it's that you're like me and needed some maturity and to learn to express needs before they show up in an unrelated argument.