this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2026
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Trans Memes
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hm, the only thing I think could use some minor clarification is that while I agree bottoms are the "receptive" partner in sex, it's not necessarily that what they are receiving is primarily pleasure.
Bottoms are maybe stereotypically submissive, passive, receptive, etc. and tops are stereotypically active, dominant, and penetrating. (Obviously the stereotypes can be broken and are not total, e.g. power bottoms as you mentioned are dominant in the dynamic or in control while still maybe being the receptive partner in penetrative sex.)
But I think top and bottom are neutral terms with respect to whose pleasure is centered. The person penetrating who is functioning as the "top" might have their pleasure be the focus when penetrating a bottom. This is more of a "service bottom" kind of dynamic. When the top is mostly focused on the bottom's pleasure, then we might say they are a "service top".
I'm just not sure there is a default in terms of whose pleasure matters, maybe as you imply the bottom's does, but I think the heteronormative default is that the man's pleasure is centered, so probably with most straight couples having straight sex, the man's pleasure is centered and the woman's pleasure is an afterthought. But "top" and "bottom" are typically queer or kink terms that are used precisely because the gender roles are not necessarily being followed (even in a straight couple, a man being the bottom and the woman being the top would be subversive).
I only add this clarification about pleasure because I'm a preferred bottom who has suffered from a lot of dysphoria, so it has been much harder for me to receive pleasure during sex, and so I have been a bottom who prefers to focus on the pleasure of my partner (I believe the old term for this was "stone", hence terms like "stone butch" or "stone femmes"). Even if I struggled to receive pleasure, I don't think that altered my seemingly innate preference for being a bottom, so it's at least not essential that bottoms receive pleasure (even if they are "receptive" in other senses).
Though ironically bottom surgery did help me a lot with actually receiving pleasure.