Hey all, I desperately need a job, preferably in a helpdesk position, eventually going into sysadmin or devops. Any tips on landing a job (at this point any job)?
I do not have Linkedin, I hate that platform but I dont know if I should make an account on it. I dont have GitHub cause fuck microsoft. I have my own website, but dont really have projects to show off other than years of selfhosting services, as I'm not a programmer, though I know scripting e.g. bash and such. At most what I have to show is a month of internship in a company's IT department. I have a nicely formatted LaTeX CV with my custom domain email and website linked. The website is handcrafted html, not tailwindcss or whatever else bloated garbage.
I have no clue how to apply or where. I also need to lie cause all of them want years of experience, which I kinda do have, but not officially, so if anyone has tips for lying would be great. Thought of pretending to be a small bussines owner as others recommended this here by making a fake company digital footprint but I'm unsure how effective it is. It sucks to be qualified largely and yet ignored because of the college requirement.
I'm failing college right now and will drop out because of the shit circumstances i'm in (financially and itherwise) so I found that even if I'm hypothetically a fit for the job quite well because I dont have a degree they just dont answer, how can I unfuck myself out of this situation? Feels hopeless to just keep bleeding out money with no end and only getting worse. So any advice on getting a job (of any kind at this point) including how to lie my way into one or what tactics to use idk anything would be of great use.
Thank you!! 
Programs are more likely to have difficulty parsing the resume if it's at all interesting. STAR was correctly described on other response. You could do a couple of simple projects that sound ound good on paper and hit keywords, like turn an old computer into a home server. That lets you mention server repair, installing Linux, partitioning, formating and encrypting drives, using ssh, manually setting up the network configuration and VPN. You could put Kali on a VM and try to hack your own wifi, with that you have virtualization, pentesting and network security. It also lets you use these projects as stories for when you answer the behavioral questions