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this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2026
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Leopards Ate My Face
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You don't get to tell people who are harmed, oppressed, and marginalized that they have to play nice with their oppressors. If you choose to take that task upon yourself, that's fine and noble but you don't tell a rape victim that they have to speak to their rapist after they realize they might have done something wrong. That's not how this works. That person wanted LGBTQ people harmed. Point blank. You don't tell LGBTQ people to play nice with them now.
Yes, I understand the political calculus at play. Yes, I'm an activist and organizer with over 20 years of experience in this. Yes, I know what's at stake.
Too bad. That's now how it works. My advice, keep people like her clear of people who will call her stupid (and worse), not the other way around.
And when she ACTUALLY understands why she's a horrid person, maybe then others will be willing to not attack her.
Until then, she's unrepentant, unreformed, and a repugnant human being and many will rightfully tell her that in no uncertain terms.
I’m not telling harmed or marginalized people how they should feel or behave. And you are right in that no one owes their oppressors patience, forgiveness, education. What I’m talking about is strategy, not morality. Also, I feel like you are overinterpretating the quote. Nowhere does she say that she wants to harm or hurt LGBTQ people. She might, but that's just us speculating.
If someone says “I regret voting for Trump,” that doesn’t make them redeemed, safe for criticism. But it does open a crack that can create an opportunity to make her shift position. If the response to that crack is only condemnation, then the crack closes and nothing changes.
You might be right in saying that LGBTQ people shouldn't be the ones doing this work. That burden shouldn’t be expected to fall on those already harmed. It can be done by people with enough distance to engage without being hurt.
Calling someone a “repugnant human being” may be emotionally justified. It may even be deserved. But it does not move them away from anti-trans politics. It hardens them or pushes them back to the people who tell them they’re right to be afraid. To me, this is mostly a matter of the unfortunate educational system that you have in the US (I'm from DK btw).
You’re right that remorse without understanding isn’t enough. But understanding rarely comes after social exile. It usually comes after conversation, friction, and discomfort. No one has to play nice. But if the goal is fewer people supporting policies that harm LGBTQ people, then writing off every regretful (stupid or uneducated, whatever works for you) voter as irredeemable is a losing tactic. Even if it feels righteous.
That’s the only point I’m making. But I understand your point of view.