this post was submitted on 15 Jan 2026
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We have friends who have dietary restrictions and we always accommodate. I actually enjoy learning new dishes etc.
Our vegan friend brought their friend once (also vegan), so we prepped a few vegan dishes. Our friend never complains and always appreciates what we do. Their friend refused to eat because they could not be certain it was 100% vegan and if cookware was cleaned to their standards.
I may have been rude and told her that the grass outside is completely vegan.
She never came back, and our friend apologised.
Ah yes, the born again vegan. My sympathies.
I have a theory that extreme dietary restrictions (not the allergy sort which is a quite other ballgame) functions as a sorting mechanism to reduce the stress of making choices. Given that we have so many choices of foodstuffs available to us, that some folks experience some form of stress is not all that surprising. I do think that this is one of the more obnoxious methods of doing so though. There's a power dynamic operating here too.
I am reminded of the folk who chalk climate change action messages on the completely separated bike path near me. Not on the road where the car drivers might see it, but on the bike path where most bike riders are already on board with climate change action. Doing the chalking probably makes them feel good, but it's not exactly targeting the real problem.
I think some people just want to make something their complete identity and to feel morally superior. I get that people get passionate about some things, but being condescending towards others is not the way to win allies.
I did a veggo stint years ago to test it out for myself (and some health reasons). Went over to a relatives for a bbq and only ate salad, rice and other sides. Didn't complain, just went about my day.
The host noticed and made a massive thing out of it (there were like 20 people, so he wasn't cooking just for us) and kept pestering my why I'm going vegetarian. I was replying politely that it's a personal choice etc....he kept pushing, so finally I said I'm only vegetarian at his place, cause he cant grill for shit.
No more questions after that.
very poor manners on his part
we should only look at our own plate, not at what others are having
And then to say something and make a scene, so very rude. Your response was spot on.
Yeah that side of the family has zero manners and consideration for others. There's also the whole thing of the older generation always being right. I don't play that shit, and happy to confront them.
Safe to say we don't get invited often, but we're not missing out.