this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2026
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Me on Jan 1: It’s a new year. It can’t be as bad as 2025. I’m gonna stop drinking, and exercise, lay off the weed, and cook healthy.
USA on January 3: Invades a sovereign nation and kidnaps leader.
Me on January 3: Fuck it. Chugs from a 5th of whiskey while rolling a blunt.