this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2025
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Patriarchy? It's not named after men, it's named for "patriarch" - it means "rule of the father". It is very present in many typical households, where a male father figure makes and enforces the rules of the household. This serves as something of a microcosm of society at large.
I think you are seeing this as some sort of "battle of the sexes", like women vs. men kind of a situation - that's not what it's about, it just has been a historical fact, in most societies, going all the way back to the concept of dowry payments that a "father of the house" makes the decisions, up to and including decisions for women and girls, such as who they will marry, and so on, but in return this means that men have to perform a specific role and have a lot of pressures and expectations placed upon them, which can lead to very harmful effects on men too.
Feminism is fighting for men and women against a harmful ideology that primarily benefits the men of the ruling class.
"It's not named after men" "rule of the father" what gender is a father typically? I don't see it as a battle of the sexes, it's a battle for basic human empathy
Could you explain a little more what you mean? I thought my comment explained pretty thoroughly why patriarchy is named as such, can you explain why you object to it, and where you feel that lack of empathy?
Calling it the Patriarchy genders the oppressor, women in the same position do the same inhumane and cruel tactics to retain power as their male counterparts. Toxic Masculinity vs Internalized Misogyny is another, men are toxic actors while women who exhibit the same toxicity are treated as victims, the flagrant sexism I encounter in e ery feminist space I lurk in because as a man I am not allowed to speak. That's my problem,the sheer utter hypocrisy. I will never understand how feminist thinkers can be so talented at recognizing the power of wording when it's used against them but somehow become denser than a neutron star when it comes to seeing their own problematic and frankly hateful word choices
Patriarchy isn't about doing cruel or oppressive things, though, it's about enforcing, producing, reproducing and maintaining strict heirarchies of power and control along sex/gender lines. It's a term describing a real social phenomenon, and the concepts of enforced gender roles and behaviours is absolutely fundamental to understanding it.
The socialization of both genders is socially produced and reproduced by both men and women, but women are socialized into being subservient to men - nowadays less so than they were in the past, but still girls and women are generally socialized more towards agreeableness and men and boys are generally socialized more towards aggression, for example.
With this in mind, do you still think that the term patriarchy is wrong? What would you call it, instead?
I'd use a genderless term, again to avoid alienating fence sitters and outsiders. Because people don't like being associated with one if the greatest evils of society simply because they were born male. What is so fucking hard to understand about this?
What genderless term do you propose?
Off the top of my head Opresser gets the idea across without suggesting a conspiracy by men as a gender to keep women repressed, as you said this state of being oppresses men just as it does women. You'd get more allies and less friction from the layperson if half aren't subconsciously painted as minions and actors for the opressing class.
But that massively oversimplifies a very complicated idea, as I said a few comments ago, it's really not just oppression. I really think you need to lurk in a few more feminist communities for a while longer, I think you still need to learn a bit, frankly!
Why should I continue to lurk in spaces where I am a second class citizen?