Dull Men's Club
An unofficial chapter of the popular Dull Men's Club.
1. Relevant commentary on your own dull life. Posts should be about your own dull, lived experience. This is our most important rule. Direct questions, random thoughts, comment baiting, advice seeking, many uses of "discuss" rarely comply with this rule.
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3. Avoid repetitive topics.
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Use a search engine, a tradesperson, Reddit, friends, a specialist Facebook group, apps, Wikipedia, an AI chat, a reverse image search etc. to answer simple questions or identify objects. Also see rule 1, “comment baiting”.
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5. Keep it dull. If it puts us to sleep, it’s on the right track. Examples of likely not dull: jokes, gross stuff (including toes), politics, religion, royalty, illness or injury, killing things for fun, or promotional content. Feel free to post these elsewhere.
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7. Proofread before posting. Use good grammar and punctuation. Avoid useless phrases. Some examples: - starting a post with "So" - starting a post with pointless phrases, like "I hope this is allowed" or “this is my first post” Only share good quality, cropped images. Do not share screenshots of images; share the original image.
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As I'm sure you're well aware, this is not only a massive dick move, but the worst way possible to "help" someone in your position learn. It's a training method I actively discourage at work, as someone who's nervous should be allowed to focus on the task at hand and not have to worry about making their trainer angry. I'm a quality inspector who directly observes and evaluates indivuals performing work, and I've found it's almost always best to back off and remain quiet unless a clear safety issue presents itself. I am utterly and completely baffled by their choices, that was an unforgivably stupid way to handle the situation, and I hope you're doing okay.
This is, as others have mentioned, a time to take things in small steps. Drive in off peak hours, small distances, and at average speeds until you build confidence. Adopt a mantra of "slow is smooth, and smooth is fast" as you develop skills and gain confidence in new situations. So long as you're not impeding traffic, you're under no obligation to meet or exceed the speed limit, tailgate, run yellow lights, or do any of the other bullshit things sloppy and impatient drivers often do. Worry about yourself and your car, drive defensively, and remember you aren't responsible for someone getting upset just because you drive safely.
This isn't exposure therapy for anxiety, and thrusting someone into a situation that makes them deeply uncomfortable never helps. Instead, think of it as practice and skill development. Confidence and reduced stress will build with time as patterns and skills are reinforced, but only if you develop your abilities at a natural pace instead of forcing the issue.
I'm very grateful for your answer. I'm definitely going to take small steps, and they can laugh at me as much as they want.
At one point my father decided that the best idea was to make me face my fears by forcing me to drive up a mountain, through an old road. This road went both directions but only had enough width for 1 car, and safety fences only at some points.
I went up decently, but when I had to drive down, the cliffs terrified me and a car was coming from the opposite direction.
I don't remember how I got home, and that was the last time I drove.
I appreciate your concern, thank you, really.
Oh my god, that sounds horrendous. I hate driving up single track lanes at the best of times, worse if they are up mountains with potentially large drops each side. Then a car coming the other way. My anxiety is spiking just thinking about it. This is not the way to make somebody more confident! I've been driving for around 25 years btw.
You make me feel validated and I want to cry from gratefulness. Thank you, thank you.