Dull Men's Club
An unofficial chapter of the popular Dull Men's Club.
1. Relevant commentary on your own dull life. Posts should be about your own dull, lived experience. This is our most important rule. Direct questions, random thoughts, comment baiting, advice seeking, many uses of "discuss" rarely comply with this rule.
2. Original, Fresh, Meaningful Content.
3. Avoid repetitive topics.
4. This is not a search engine
Use a search engine, a tradesperson, Reddit, friends, a specialist Facebook group, apps, Wikipedia, an AI chat, a reverse image search etc. to answer simple questions or identify objects. Also see rule 1, “comment baiting”.
There are a number of content specific communities with subject matter experts who can help you.
Some other communities to consider before posting:
5. Keep it dull. If it puts us to sleep, it’s on the right track. Examples of likely not dull: jokes, gross stuff (including toes), politics, religion, royalty, illness or injury, killing things for fun, or promotional content. Feel free to post these elsewhere.
6. No hate speech, sexism, or bullying No sexism, hate speech, degrading or excessively foul language, or other harmful language. No othering or dehumanizing of anyone or negativity towards any gender identity.
7. Proofread before posting. Use good grammar and punctuation. Avoid useless phrases. Some examples: - starting a post with "So" - starting a post with pointless phrases, like "I hope this is allowed" or “this is my first post” Only share good quality, cropped images. Do not share screenshots of images; share the original image.
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Talk about feeding plans in advance. I talked my wife into pumping and saving up some breast milk in the freezer. That way I could feed the baby when she didn't feel up to it. Not a big deal if you're doing formula.
Don't be afraid to take the baby for some dad time. Mom may or may not be good at expressing when she needs a break. Our middle child would cry whenever mom wasn't holding her, making it hard for Mom to get any rest. But, I figured out she liked low, constant sounds. I would take her out in the garage, turn on my big shop fan, and just walk around while holding her. She would finally doze off after a bit.
One of the most important things I learned was that it's ok to not know how to feel at first. Women have hormones that help them bond with a newborn. That's what keeps them from chucking the baby they just evicted from their body out the window or leaving it for the wolves.
Men don't have that advantage. My wife was getting all excited about being pregnant and I'm just like, "Oh. Cool. I'm gonna be a father. Great. I guess." I didn't really feel anything except maybe a little fear of the unknown. I knew our life was going to different but I wasn't sure exactly how. Then this little person arrives and they are simultaneously adorable and the worst houseguest you can possibly imagine. They can't talk so they just cry and whatever they want, they want it now.
I honestly felt miserable. That changed one day when my daughter was a couple months old. I was carrying her to her crib for a nap when she nuzzled her little head into my shoulder and went right to sleep. I realized right then that my little girl knew who was holding her and she felt safe. That was a very special moment for me. One I hope I always remember. Right from that moment I was hooked.
Your experience may be different. Just know that if it doesn't feel all warm and fuzzy at first, that's ok.
Edit: Congratulations BTW!