Hey all,
I don't know what to do, and need some advice.
Today I received the information that my father was moved to the palliative ward. He was in the hospital since a few days.
He had lung cancer, and lost half of his lung, now the tumor is back and restricting the remaining half.
He is dying. The doctors don't know when, and if there are days weeks or months left. Nothing to do but to make hin as comfortable and pain free as possible.
I want to visit him badly. But I am panicking already just thinking about what to say or what to do. I could call him but me, taking on the phone..., and the main issue remains, what should I say?
I am bad at social interaction, yeah. I live with that. But this situation is wo much worse I ever could imagine.
I love my dad. He is one of the most important persons in my life. Loosing him will of course be painful, but being in a situation where I can get the call every day, every minute ...
I am not able to work, think, sleep or be around other people very long.
Does anybody here have some advice?
UPDATE1:
Thank you all so much for your feedback!
TLDR: I organized a visit tomorrow, and made sure i will go through.
First, i want to clarify my issue, as yesterday i was rather vague: This is not a question about "to go or not to go". I am experiencing meltdowns on the pure thought of "what happens during the visit". I just lock up. That is nothing rationale. I have to overcome those meltdowns - and that is why i am asking for advice.
Your feedback helped a lot during this process. While i am still not at a point, where i don't freeze, not doing so would for sure not come to any good.
I asked my spouse to go with me tomorrow. She will make sure that i will go through. Also, i don't have to worry about medication to much ( I get medical cannabis), as she will drive me home if needed.
Again, thank you all! And every feedback is still welcome, it really really helps!
This situation sucks. I'm sorry this is happening to you, nobody should have to deal with this.
If you want to visit, you should. You don't need to say or do anything particular, just being there will mean so much to both of you. If you need something to say, I encourage you to 1. just tell him you love him, cry as much as you need to, and 2. listen to anything he wants to say to you now or anything he wants to ask you for. It's not easy now but you will find peace and comfort later in knowing you visited him while you could.
It definitely hits extra hard for neurodivergent folk to have a Big Shitty Uncertainty like that. It impedes.. everything.
A small bit of good news is that it sucks for everyone when this happens-- losing family hurts-- so people at work, school, etc. should be understanding and give you some extra space/grace in this time. If you have anyone you're comfortable reaching out to for help, or to ask for some wiggle room while you're dealing with family health issues, reach out when you feel centered enough to. People will usually help and rally around you when you're going through something like this.
I'm again so sorry you're going through this. Remember to take care of yourself and if you can, keep some folks nearby who can send some care your way.