this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2025
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I used to go with my mum to Peter Mac many moons ago and we'd use Parliament station and she hated the escalators so much that I'd have to talk to her the whole time while on them. Going down was the worst. I could here her mumbling "fuck, fuck, fuck".
Anyway I asked her one time why we didn't use the lifts. Her answer was "I tried them once. They're slow and smelt horrendously like piss. I was slowly suffocating. Never again".
To this day whenever I get in a lift I think about who the fuck has pissed in the corner?
I feel it's rare to find a public transport/car park life that doesn't smell like piss.
The loos at Parliament station are so hard to access that I can quite see how someone in a hurry would go to the lift at the end of the platform rather than hike up the escalators, fish out their myki, walk a large circle around the barriers, go to the loo, walk back around, fish out myki again and then back down those awful escalators again. The Parliament escalators are famous for bothering people with sensory or balance issues - instant vertigo. The designers got them so wrong that they are now world famous for bad design. I hate those escalators with a passion. I usually end up sitting down on a step and only stand up for the last little bit. God help anyone navigating them with shopping bags and/or small children in tow. They should have put proper loos on each platform, or at least on each level. And good luck FINDING the loos at Melbourne Central.
I suppose there must be some, but until this moment I never thought about the possibility that Parliament station even had loos.