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Dog behaves respectfully with me, but rough with family – advice? (lemmy.zip)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by original_reader@lemmy.zip to c/dogs@lemmy.world

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Hey experts, hoping someone here has insight or experience to share.

We have a dog who’s generally well-trained and listens to commands. With me, he’s calm, respectful, and almost never crosses boundaries. The dog is about 10 months old, so we don't expect every command to be perfect, of course.

But with other family members, it’s a different story. He can get rough, jumps on them, snaps at their hands (even when they’re disengaging), and seems to treat them more like playmates than people to respect. Am afraid someone will eventually get hurt.

This behavior often kicks in when a family member picks up his ball or engages with him in a way he perceives as play. Sometimes seemingly out of nowhere. The dog clearly doesn't mean bad and isn't aggressive, but he underestimates his strength. We’ve tried consistent training across the board, and everyone uses the same commands and techniques. Walks help a bit, he’s more controlled outside/on a leash, but the issue persists indoors or in the yard.

Has anyone dealt with a dog who respects one person but gets too rough with others? Is this a leadership/boundary issue, or something else? Any advice on how to help our dog treat all family members with the same respect he shows me?

Thanks in advance for any ideas!

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[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is our situation at home between my spouse (the one who the dog listens to and adores) and myself (the one who’s the playmate/chew toy he won’t disengage from). Our dog is a little over a year old now, and this was a much bigger problem a few months ago. Part of it is age for sure. The other part is your dog’s breed and temperament — he might just need more stimulation, which can be a huge pain if you’re working, it’s dark outside, etc.

I suggest a flirt pole to try and tire him out. Plenty of videos out there on technique and such, but it’s basically working on a couple commands and running/agility really intensely for maybe 10-15 minutes and he’ll get good and tired, mentally and physically. Have other members of the family work with him too. Just make sure you get the “drop it” part down so the lure doesn’t fly back into your face (some experience speaking here lol). Good luck! The puppy phase is a challenging time for sure.