this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2025
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[–] ozymandias@lemmy.dbzer0.com 128 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (27 children)

there’s a lot more to what it means to be perceived as gay in this society than just that person, personally hating gay people.
i had someone say that to me and i’m just extremely self conscious so i was just trying to figure out why….
was it my tone of voice? mannerisms?
all these penises in my mouth?
Is that why women are seldom romantically interested in me? Do they all think i’m gay? is that the key to my loneliness? (probably just the ugly part).
if you tell someone, “oh i figured you like country music” and they don’t, they’re going to wonder why.
and i don’t know if they stopped, but kids used to be pretty mean calling people gay… it can be kind of a “touching on childhood trauma” thing.

my advice: don’t “trick” people with clever “tests” and try to be genuine with your friends. If you’re gay and you have straight friends, those friends probably aren’t the problem even if they have a problem with being misidentified as gay.

[–] AdrianTheFrog@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

there's contexts where it could be fine I think, like if you know your friend will take it lightly, and you're not taking it seriously either. but actually trying to test someone with that is stupid

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