this post was submitted on 15 Nov 2025
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Does money and status matter in a relationship? (sopuli.xyz)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Grimreaper@sopuli.xyz to c/askmen@lemmy.world
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I feel like my family is super hypocritical when it comes to this. My mom, aunt, and cousin tell me things like:

“You need to bring something to the table in a relationship.”

“You both need to pour into each other.”

“You need a job to date.”

Etc., etc.

Okay — so today we were talking about wealthy people and what we’d do if we had hundreds of millions or even a billion dollars. I said I’d probably send my kids to an elite private school. They asked, “Why?”

I said, “My son wouldn’t date a Starbucks barista, and my daughter wouldn’t date the pizza guy.”

These same family members immediately said that was classist and wrong, and that money shouldn’t be a determining factor in a relationship.

…Umm, what?!

These were the same people who said: “You need to bring something to the table.” “You both need to pour into each other.”

Okay — then why wouldn’t the same logic apply to me in this scenario? What would some pizza delivery guy bring to the table for a billionaire heiress? Same with my son. If anything, shouldn’t he be dating someone who also comes from a wealthy or noble family?

I changed the scenario again and asked them: “If I were a lawyer or had some other high-paying job, and I chose not to date a poor woman — is that wrong?”

They said it was wrong and dumb.

Do you see the glaring hypocrisy?

Edit: What would you think about a 28 year old wealthy woman dating a 22 year old college student? Do you think the 22 year old could not bring anything to their relationship?

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[–] FreshParsnip@lemmy.ca 1 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It sounds like your family are shortsighted hypocrites who only look at one side of the equation. "If I'm poor, I shouldn't date a rich person because I have nothing to offer but if I'm rich and refuse to date a poor person, that would be discrimination". It doesn't occur to them to think from the other person's perspective

Edit: having given it more thought, an alternative explanation is you completely misunderstood what they meant by having to bring something to the table. Maybe they weren't talking about money and meant emotionally.