this post was submitted on 14 Nov 2025
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As an older gay guy, as you grow older, being gay stops being important. You just like guys, and the other guy like girls. That's it.
And it's actually kind of annoying how some people make that their entire personality. But when I left my mom's house I even hanged porn pictures on my room, to tell everyone what I am and that I wouldn't hide anymore. So I was the same.
But over time I realised that I should never have to hide, I didn't have to keep showing either. I didn't really want. I just did it because I was angry I had to hide.
My point is; we are here. Just not that visible.
Plus we didn't have internet back then. Thank god. I wouldn't want to see again the things I would have written.
Edit, I must also say that it's because a lot of people fought for our rights. I couldn't just be a guy who likes guys back then. It's a luxury I love. I can say stuff like "my partner, he does this or that" and it never becomes "what, are you gay?" anymore. It's just like a straight guy talking about his female partner most of the times, and that's awesome. I can choose to make it my personality or not these days without having to hide.
Me, imagining your mom walking into your childhood bedroom after you move out and finding the walls covered in gay porn
Omar Little in The Wire was the first time I saw an amazing character who happened to be gay. It was so damn revolutionary to see, finally. It always annoyed me so much that gay was a personality type like goth or nerd or jock, in US media.
I'm glad you posted your perspective though, as I had never really considered it this way.
Yeah. Same. The dream was to just be normal. That liking guys is the same as liking girls. You can be a femboy gay, or a macho yanktank straight, or the other way around. But it's not anymore simply who you like that catches people attention.
You can simply be gay, and that is just one detail of your life. Not a whole fight anymore.
I've had quite a few gay friends over the years, partied, hung out and did everything you do with friends. I never understood the aversion to people based on who they prefer as a partner. It just seems so juvenile.
Part of me wonders how people that grew up during the 80s and 90s came to think that, it seemed like things were on the right track for acceptance till within say the last 10-15 years (though I may have missed a lot of indicators being straight). Now everything is so polarized and it really makes me sad not just for lost rights of my old friends but cause it's like society is regressing in its ideals. Hate and bigotry never help things grow except for conflict and we need less of that.
I think it's just internet impression.
Being gay is soooo much easier today. I would say we reached the utopia, because I don't hide and yet my life doesn't seem different than straight people.
The screaming ones one both sides, the "everyone must know I'm gay" and the "no one should be allowed to show they are gay" are the minority, but they sure are loud. And internet is their megaphone.
But that depends on the country of course. I'm sure gays in Saudi Arabia are not happy.