this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2025
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Lmao. I was too skeptical to accept this at first, so I double-checked both the math and the date.
Incredibly, everything checks out.
Hm, now I'm imagining OP's parents having lived so long due to being the first vampires. They saw others drinking milk and thought, "Wait, so we're all cool with draining and consuming fluids from others' bodies?"
Maybe this is common knowledge, but the Maasai herd cows and will drain a non-lethal amount of blood from their necks to drink.
They make me cringe so hard. When I got my first job interview at McDonalds they came by in red and yellow tabbards to show our family's loyalty to their house.