this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2025
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I greet them as "brother fullname" to make them sound like they're a monk or priest or something.
Brother Maynard, bring up the Holy Hand Grenade
Armaments, chapter three, verses 15-25.
Then didst the lord smite the evil hordes and banish them <"skip a bit, brother">, erm, ahem...
And lo, shalt thou take the holy hand grenade and removest thou the pin.
Next shalt thou count to three, three being the number of thy counting.
Count thou not four, neither count thou two, unless thou proceedeth forththence to three. Five... is right out.
Then, having counted unto three, shalt thou lob the holy hand grenade at thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
One, two… FIVE
No, three, sir! Three!