this post was submitted on 23 Sep 2025
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Witches VS Patriarchy
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I agree, but only insofar as statements like that. I remember in 2016/2017 when I still identified as a man one of my friends would constantly say "kill all men" around me and to my face. It was really upsetting. Also listening and getting clarification is important because I do know people today that say they "hate men" and when they talk about it they openly say they're misandrist. I don't believe everyone saying they hate men are misandrist though. Language is messy. People use hyperbole. People shouldn't be beholden to the literal definition of everything they say, especially in the heat of passion. But it's also important to remember that not everyone saying that hate men isn't misandrist, even if most of them aren't.
Just pointing out that if someone said "I hate black people" or "I hate Jews", you typically don't go digging for nuance in the hopes that they're not being literal, because even if they aren't, it's an incredibly fucked up thing to say and shows what kind of character the person saying it has.
I get what you mean here. I had friends who would say similar things around me before I came out, and I would also have conflicting feelings about it. Like, if you say that about men, and you think I'm a man, is that what you think about me?
But no, not really. I'd also remember that I was trusted enough to be there for those conversations, so it wasn't about me, even before they knew I was a woman too.
And yes, there are women who do have openly misandrist views. I'm thinking about the "political lesbians," figures like Andrea Dworkin who believe all heterosexual relationships (and therefore reproduction) are inherently anti-woman, or those who see female separatist colonies as the answer to all our societal problems. But these people are in the minority. Most women, most feminists, have reasonable views about men. So whenever another one of those "dear men" posts come out, I do have to stop and wonder why people give them the least charitable interpretation on the internet.
lol, I said stuff like "kill all men" as a man before I transitioned. I fully endorsed misandry back then, it paired with gender dysphoria nicely.
😄 I definitely have worked on my view of men, transitioning has given me a chance to untangle my hatred of men from my hatred & shame from having lived as a man.
But yeah, one person in my life said that the only "sign" she noticed before I transitioned was that my feminism and anger against men felt unusually personal (as if I had been personally victimized by men), which was confusing to her because she thought I was a man.
Nowadays I guess you could say I'm in rehabilitation from my misandry. It's hard when men continue to victimize so many, but I try to remember it's a minority of men and that patriarchy is about a whole system of power that includes class, race, etc. and isn't just about gender. It also helps to recognize the ways patriarchy victimizes men, as well.
My education on feminism has grown significantly as a result of my transition, but I feel like I'm still in the baby steps in a way. Lots of work to do.