Off My Chest

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i don't know if my ex really did like me. (thelemmy.club)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by nonBInary@thelemmy.club to c/goodoffmychest@lemmy.world

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we just broke up, and i more or less feel like she didn't want to feel bad so she dated me. i'm highkey tired of people who only like me platonically getting with me because it's only them who try to date me, then they realize they don't like me or didn't like me all along and just played with me because they didn't want to feel bad.

i can't help but be upset and i do not wanna see my ex at all, but she's such a nice person :(

and i'm tired of never "clicking" with people because it's always their damn reason for being hesitant or breaking up with me, i never click with anyone because i'm so damn weird and different and they just feel so bad for me for that.

yes, i need someone to talk to. please be nice and don't be rude or anything like that, i'm not in the mood right now.

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[–] RFKJrsBrainworm@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

That's hard... I'd first suggest exploring the "not clicking" aspect. It's easy to get focus on that part instead of focusing on being the best you possible. That confidence will bring folks who do click into your orbit and vice versa.

Stop worrying about being good enough or clicking, you will never click if you are trying to click.

Good luck!

Edit: as for the being used part, don't make yourself so available all the time. Done rush to be the solution machine when it's always something involving your time or money. Your time is valuable and you can't just drop everything to accommodate.

[–] nonBInary@thelemmy.club 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

she was the one who said it and i thought “we won’t always be best friends immediately but it doesn’t mean we won’t be friends ever”. A lot of people seem to think that though.

[–] RFKJrsBrainworm@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Hey, I'm going to straight up tell you to let her go from a friend perspective..... trying to be an ex's friend especially after feeling taken advantage of is a great way to feel like you've been taken advantage of again....ask me how I know haha, it hurt like hell at the moment but if your ex wants to be your friend they will be...it doesn't take work.

For example my best friend growing up...haven't spoken since 05 right after college (I'm old)...I moved to his area and reached out ...it was like no time had passed....

Best way I can put it, a real friend is willing to help you move for no other reason than they like you... would she help you move?

[–] nonBInary@thelemmy.club 1 points 2 days ago

thank you so much :) she wants to be friends so i dunno, she may help me But idk