If, to you, not being able to play one game in the sea of many many many games is akin to death, maybe you need to see someone about addiction.

If you cheat in a game, you've burned your bridge. It's like taking a piss in the cereal isle of Kmart, you probably won't be welcome in that Kmart any more. Or hey, maybe you'll end up like an acquaintance I knew who was banned from a Kmart, maybe you'll be hired on as staff without them checking the binder of banned people. I think I've lost the plot of this analogy.