Humor
"Laugh-a-Palooza: Unleash Your Inner Chuckle!"
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You seem to be on point. And to think when I was a child USA was seen as a place of high technology...
I'm in Canada myself, but we have issues with self-checkouts too, and it very much depends on the store. Some suck, some don't.
In Poland pretty much all stores follow the same formula, only deviation is whether there's barcode scanner at exit, and even that isn't bothersome if it's at least relatively newly made. Old ones take some time, new ones are lightning fast.