this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2025
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GenZedong
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Had a tour of the arts in the city last saturday when many museums opened their doors at night as a special event. A lot of paintings were about the golden age of Antwerp around the 1500-1600 period in which it was one of, if not the most important city in the world. It was the largest European city after Paris at the time.
You'd think: 'wow that's cool' until you realise many of these things were achieved because of colonialism and slave trade. As is always the case in Europe.
My (near) burnout phase seems to continue. I hoped after the weekend was done and after spending a week at home it would be better but I can't shake the anxious feeling I have, which sucks. There's also this feeling of guilt that comes with it, for me at least, because I keep thinking about how so many people in this world have it worse than I do and they keep on going, so why can't I? But that's not a good mentality to have, of course.
You may be experiencing second hand trauma. I think it happens to a lot of us who are paying attention to the horrors of genocide, imperialism, environmental collapse and all the rest. It can lead to burnout and all sorts of depression/anxiety like symptoms and feeling like you don't even deserve to feel badly. I don't know though, just something I'm looking into regarding my own stuff which really rhymes with what you're describing.