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So 3+ hosts for clustering or 2 hosts and an qdevice to fake it
Yes. You can just get by with 2 devices but you need to set expected_votes=1 in the cluster config somewhere, don't recall where, and I've encountered issues with stability with that solution, seems like it'll get undone though I haven't used it for years to say if that's still the case.
The q-device will work on anything Linux that's available when the second node is down. Not having the tie-breaker isn't the end of the world, it just means you have to go in after you bring up the second node and start some things manually, and if you're replacing nodes in a 2-node cluster, it's much nicer to have the q-device.
Without a 3rd they can get confused if they loose contact but both nodes are up. Like both are in charge as one vote is enough
That's it. Been a long time since I had to use that and I found it had it's issues so I moved to the qdevice without a third node.
Yeah, it's /etc/pve/corosync.conf you can set quorum votes to 2 for a device. But it's easy to get the file overwritten. Link
Or you can use pvecm expected 1 on both hosts or pvecm --votes 2 on one device.