Ugh, that's rough.

That being said, like you said, people die. I can't imagine how shitty it feels but given how the COVID vaccine is the most-empirically-tested-and-documented vaccine and as a result of it's absolutely insane number uses uses (beaten only by the likes of Aspirin and Ibuprofene and so on), it's hopefully understandable that we not only know but know with beyond-certainty that it's side effects are insanely rare and extremely mild.

The reason people can extremely rarely die from a vaccination (and then it happens ~directly after getting it!) is a reaction to the actual injection, not what you get injected with. This has happened in the past, it's just extremely improbably. There's also the chance of an allergic reaction but for most healthy adults we would know about this as COVID would be far from our first vaccine we're getting, and with multiple billions of uses, we know that the COVID vaccine as a whole has no allergic interactions beyond standard ones.

That's not to downplay your loss, sorry if it sounds that way - english is not my primary language. Not at all. Just trying to illustrate how impossible it'd be for COVID to have a lethal effect without millions~tens-of-millions showing this, simply because we have such an amount of data points.

That is to say, someobody could get a vaccine shot, then go home, and fry themselves an egg in a new pan they bought on the way home. There is a multiple orders of magnitude higher chance of poisoning from the pan because of an undocumented chemical in the coating than from the shot. We don't have that much data on any particular pan, not even IKEA ones. Orders of magnitude less data.

Believe the mass graves and filled ERs.