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submitted 6 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) by Beardsley@lemmy.world to c/gaming@lemmy.ml

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I think gamers as a whole, though specifically those in niche communities, need to take a long and hard look at themselves. We should celebrate the volunteers that create wonderful content for us, generally with no financial gain. Instead, commonly, there are communities that criticize and tear down every little thing they can think of. They even went as far as to doxx the poor woman. We need to be better, and we need to hold these kind of toxic trolls accountable. Especially those of us who are men, we have a responsibility to call out other men who mistreat women in the gaming industry, or gaming in general.

*Edit: I apologize if I insinuated that all gamers are guilty of this kind of behavior, that was not my intention at all. My sentiment is that many of us do not think about this kind of thing, and less are willing to speak out against their friends. We need to be better about that as a whole. I appreciate you as a person if you are already of this mindset.

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[–] CoolMatt@lemmy.ca 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

As a man who grew up listening their ever perpetually single mom constantly complain about how all men are shit, this comment is the the influence I need to see more of coming from more people who are also men.

I'm constantly trying to be better all the time. I just feel like I don't know how not to get offended by generalizations that I know don't apply to me but the more I see other guys say stuff like what you just said, it kinda helps because just seeing them say it makes me want to adopt that mentality and get out if the one that if I fall under a group that receives criticism my feelings are hurt.

[–] lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

You gotta have some more self awareness, man. Stop trying to please those who are always complaining, and just be a good person for the sake of being a good person. Don't do things to gain favor in the eyes of others.

And if you're not part of the problem (i.e. you're not a total piece of shit), then those complaints don't apply to you anyway. If someone comes up to you and starts blaming you for societal problems simply because you're a man... that's someone you don't wanna be involved with anyway.

[–] CoolMatt@lemmy.ca 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I've lived by that first paragraph my whole life, I just meant how hard it is to not feel like someone is blaming me personally, or including me when they say a thing about men, just because I'm a man too. And btw, I've been not involved with that toxic parent since I was 26 (I'm 32 now)

Like idk how to not to let my feelings be hurt that women would rather encounter a bear than me when I'm trying to be the change I want to see in the world.

I talked to my girlfriejd about it and she said "yeah well you're not one of those men in the scenario, you have no reason to be offended, you're one of the good ones" and logically I know shes right, and I appreciated hearing that.

I just gotta see how other men keep from getting offended so easily so I can learn from them

[–] lka1988@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I'm 36 and I'm not hurt by it at all. I completely understand why so many women would choose the bear. I also have three daughters (including a teenager), so I guess that helped to put things into perspective for me, but still... There are, unfortunately, a lot of men who have sexually assaulted women, and because men are the "default" in a lot of authority positions, it's easy for men like that to assume that everyone wants what they want, including sexual advances; no matter how minimal.

Like I said - if you're not the kind of man that does this kind of thing, great, but you gotta let it roll off your back. The complaints are legitimate, and I'll bet your gf has experienced it herself. My wife has, and even my ex-wife has as well.

I'll give you a tip: Instead of asking "how do I not feel offended", ask yourself (and you could ask your gf as well) "how can I help to make the situation better?" It's absolutely an uncomfortable situation, and acknowledging it goes a long way.

[–] CoolMatt@lemmy.ca 1 points 3 days ago

Man, thank you, and I appreciate you for taking the time to type all that out. I agree with everything i just read.

Since you mentioned it, you're right my gf is unfortunately a victim of rape.

I'm gonna remember your tip and use it always.