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Catch-22 (lemmy.world)
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[-] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 6 points 18 hours ago

To extend what others have said, your "social battery" depletes when you play a persona/mask. Sometimes with neurodivergent people (autistic/ADHD especially) this mask can be completely subconscious and unknown to the person.. it's pretty tricky to learn how to reverse it.

In either case, learning how to be your authentic self without shame is all the fix. Of course this may not be possible depending on environment but it's something to work towards.

I had the "social battery" issue until I learned how to be me. Sadly, most of the people I knew were acquainted with the masked me, so those friends grew more distant but I have since found people with the same kind of "weird" and social situations are no longer draining (at least with those people). It took a couple years but I can't recommend it enough.

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 2 points 14 hours ago

So you're saying I should make friends with people who also intensely dislike people?

[-] monsterpiece42@reddthat.com 5 points 14 hours ago

I would challenge that's not your authentic self. That's learned behavior.

If you have been constantly othered or made to feel out of place you will grow resentment towards certain people, and eventually people as a whole.

When everyone is authentic and kind, community happens. Consider people who LARP.. they likely would get mocked alone if a single one went to the mall, but in a community with shared expectations and values they have a lot of fun!

Learning one's authentic self is a journey. Learning boundaries (which allow you to stick to that authentic self) is also a journey. But I do recommend.

[-] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 2 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago)

I was just making a joke, but you're right- it's a learned coping mechanism from iteration after iteration of excruciating relationships.

I find most people are deeply selfish and lacking in awareness, and generally unobservant to the physical and metaphorical world around us. Eventually, it simply easier to withdraw and try to be content with online human interaction, and real life experiences with my family and my dog. Community comes with too many strings and demands that I present as someone not myself- at least in all such attempts to-date. When I was younger and it felt more necessary to participate, I dulled society with booze and weed. Now I prefer to see clearly, though perhaps still missing the clarity that others innately possess, in social scenarios.

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this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2024
456 points (97.1% liked)

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