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Why YAML sucks?
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Unlike tissue paper yaml is actually fit for purpose. I actually don't know of any lang that literally can't run a program. The most you could stretch what you're saying to is that some esolangs are akin to making bricks of packed tissues to build with. They are art projects not serious submissions though.
I don't like js as much as anyone else but as evidenced by reality it works. Programmers need to stop sniffing their own farts, you have such strong opinions about the most insane shit when at most you should be talking about narrower scopes for use and trade offs.
Different user here.
My only criteria for a backend language is it tells me something went wrong and where. Hence my distaste for JS.