Posts from thebad.website
French version at !lemauvaissite@jlai.lu
[pixelated characters with pointy hats are surrounded by text]
BORN TOO LATE TO FIGHT A PROXY WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST
BORN TOO EARLY TO FIGHT A PROXY WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST
BORN JUST IN TIME TO FIGHT A PROXY WAR IN THE MIDDLE EAST
[a speech bubble comes from the left]
Would you please consult the evil chart
[a hand, also coming from the left, is holding a document that reads]
HOW EVIL IS COMMUNISM?
[a graph shows EVIL LEVELS sharply rising once Before communism becomes After communism]
[below the graph, a drawing of a smiling bald eagle is surrounded by the USA and confederate flag]
STUDY SPONSORED BY THE PATRIOT EAGLE INSTITUTE
Methodology: vibes
https://thebad.website/comic/according_to_this_objective_graph
[a speech bubble is above a confused character]
Context?
[the character is wearing a CONTEXT HAT, a sign that says GIVE ME CONTEXT OR GIVE ME DEATH, is covered in a sign that reads I REQUIRE CONTEXT, has a line hanging to them with a hanging sign that reads BY THE GODS OLD AND NEW CAN I GET A CRUMB OF CONTEXT PLEASE, is sitting next to a pole with a CONTEXT FLAG, a CONTEXT megaphone, and a CONTEXT SAVES LIVES sign, and is holding a clipboard that reads THE CONTEXT CLIPBOARD IS GETTING VERY THIRSTY]
[a green flag with a leaf stands above an utopian green city with vegetation and clean energy]
Greenists believe that the world should be a better place for green people, and everyone else too
[an orange fascist-looking star in a gear logo stands above a bleak concrete city]
Orangites believe that the world should only have orange people, and that all greens should be hung
[an orange character speaks smugly, in a bedroom that contains an orangite logo and a greenist/orangite flag]
Me?
I'm a greenist-orangite,
why do you ask?
[a character is sitting in the lotus position, looking zen, an "ohmmmmmmmm" going through their mind]
I am a pacifist
I strive for global peace
I do not care how many people have to die to achieve global peace
[yellow character, with a smug smile]
It's your fault you didn't buy real estate to live in while it was cheap back when you were 3 years old.
[gross up on the yellow character's face, who is now grin-drooling in a disgusting way and pointing at us]
DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF YOUR POOR CHOICES
[orange, accusing]
Oh yeah, you think shapes exist?
Then name a shape, I bet you can't
[purple, shrugging]
Uh… a circle?
[orange, getting angry]
Yeah okay but I bet you can't name three more
[purple, shrugging harder]
…a square, a triangle, a rhombus?
[orange, so angry their body is turning into spaghetti]
Sure but you can't name two more
[purple, stalwart]
A rectangle and a hexagon?
[orange, bent out of shape]
Okay but let's see you name another one
[purple, calm]
A pentagon
You ok mate?
[orange, grossly deformed by anger]
Nice try but I bet you can't list one more
[purple, worried]
Uh…
Are you ok?
[orange, grinning and pointing proudly at purple]
Heh I knew it look at this loser yall he can't even name a shape
[purple, jaded by the interaction, has no words]
[a character sits at their desk, in front of their computers, and complains angrily]
Mainstream media? Unreliable, biased, full of fake news, they keep lying…
You can't trust them!
[changing to a point of view beind the character allows us to see that their screen is filled with other angry characters that look like the main character]
That's why I get all my news from angry dudes on social media and men's right activism podcasts
[a character shrugs]
I don't even care about [thing]
[an arrow points to the shrugging character]
Never stops talking about [thing]
[a water pipe is delivering water directly in the mouth of a huge character sitting on a chair, gorging on the water, below a label]
Evil proletarian getting all the unemployment benefits
[a few little droplets are falling from the water pipe into the mouth of a thin character in a suit, next to the label]
Poor billionaire trying to buy their 7th yacht
[yellow, shrugging]
Anticapitalists are silly idealists
[yellow, crossing their arms]
Communism can't work in real life
[yellow, pointing smugly at us]
The theory behind socialism is broken
[yellow, looking wavy]
Anarchism makes no sense at all
[yellow, smiling annoyingly in front of a huge wall of text]
As opposed to my support for capitalism, which works because the market is free and open and has no state intervention, there are no monopolies or oligarchies, everyone has a perfect understanding of the things they consume, there are no patents and other government sanctioned ways to slow down competition, megacorps absolutely love supporting the free market, and billionaires get no say in political decisions. Prices also magically reflect real social costs, because pollution, burnout, and infrastructure decay are all naturally priced in. Labor markets are frictionless, so people can instantly quit abusive jobs and seamlessly transition into better ones without rent, visas, health insurance, or time being a factor. Infor mation asymmetry does not exist, advertising is purely informative and never manipulative, and planned obsolescence would be irrational because firms are driven by a deep moral commitment to long-term consumer welfare. Crises never happen, but when they do they are excellent learning opportunities that only affect those who made bad personal choices. Banks fail responsibly. Housing markets collapse politely. Of course, capital never concentrates, because returns definitely do not compound, network effects are a myth, and first-mover advantage is just something lazy people complain about. If someone becomes obscenely rich, it is merely a coincidence that they can now afford better lawyers, better lobbying, better media access, and better laws. This has no feedback effect whatsoever. Democracy also remains pristine, since money is famously speechless and campaign finance has no measurable impact on policy outcomes. Regulators are fearless, revolving doors are sealed shut, and every captured agency is just doing a long, ironic performance art piece. When the state intervenes, it is always against capitalism, never on its behalf, and certainly never to socialize losses after privatizing gains. And if any of this sounds unrealistic, that is only because capitalism has never really been tried properly, unlike all those other systems, which failed specifically because humans were involved. But why does this paragraph end with a mention of thebad.website ?
[Martin Luther King Jr. is raising a finger, speaking]
Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.
And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.
I have a dream that one day oppression will be solved by a strongly worded op-ed in the Washington Post and a bipartisan task force.
[MLK Jr. is now raising his hand]
I have a dream that one day this nation will politely vote segregation away, just like we did during the American Civil Vote and The Second World Vote.
I have a dream that my four little children will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by how politely they wait for incremental reform.
[MLK Jr. is now raising his fist]
I have a dream that the sons of former slave owners and the sons of former slaves will sit together at the table of a diversity panel moderated by a consultant.
This is our hope, and this is the faith that I go back to the South with.
[2025]
[a green character looks anxious, speaks] I fear some people in this movement may have a racial bias issue
[a yellow character looks pissed, raises their hand and talks back] Now's not the right time to be saying that We can't afford to be turning away people Stop trying to divide us racially You are an agitator
[the yellow character is now looking distraught] Huh, the movement has been coopted by liberals and fizzled out Nobody could have predicted this outcome
[2026] The exact same situation repeats
[2027] The exact same situation repeats
[2028] The exact same situation seems to be repeating endlessly
[a character looks sad in front of a sad city, under the sunset]
Things aren't looking great…
It sucks when the state kills people
Wish we could do something about it
[the character is now in front of their TV, showing ICE agents surrounding a bleeding corpse on the floor]
Wait… this time they killed WHITE people
This means it could happen to me too?!
[an angry crowd is demonstrating, holding various signs such as…]
THIS TIME YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR
I DRAW THE LINE HERE
TOLERATE NO MORE
2025-31-12, Keith Porter, shot and killed by ICE agents
2025-09-12, Silverio Villegas González, shot and killed by ICE agents
2025-07-28, Jaime Alanis Garcia, shot and killed by ICE agents
27 shootings by ICE in 2025,
8 of which were lethal
31 deaths in ICE custody in 2025
11 deaths in ICE custody in 2024
7 deaths in ICE custody in 2023
3 deaths in ICE custody in 2022
5 deaths in ICE custody in 2021
18 deaths in ICE custody in 2020
9 deaths in ICE custody in 2019
9 deaths in ICE custody in 2028
[a really cool looking character sits on a chair in prison gear, smiling smugly, sunglasses on their face]
[next to them, their lawyer pleads their case]
Yes your honor,
he did kill twenty orphans
But if you look at him,
he looks really chill
[at their desk, a judge looks really happy and slams their hammer]
Damn right he's got
GREAT VIBES
Innocent ! Case dismissed !
[a crowd of numerous vaguely human shapes is celebrating]
Once again, justice has prevailed.
A great public celebration ensues.
[purple, speaking with a bit of an anxious look]
My mom used to say there's always a creepy person on every bus
[purple is now on the bus, looking smug and proud, holding a bar]
Well, I take the bus every day
And I've never seen them
[behind purple, a crowd of diverse characters are all reacting in various ways while looking at purple, most of them are cringing or disgusted]
Bonus template:
[inside an elevator, two characters are talking[
[yellow, happily]
I want to BELIEVE
[blue, suspicious]
To believe in what?
Aliens and stuff?
[zoom on yellow's face, smiling, looking nasty]
That my government is right about murdering all those people
[blue, weary and tired of this shit, has no words, and is simply melting, mouth agape]
[a greying man smiles at us in a toga]
No act of kindness,
no matter how small,
is ever wasted.
-Aesop
[a yellow character waves at us]
Hi, welcome to my show!
On today's episode, we will be interviewing John Racist, a notorious racist
[sitting at a desk, speaking into a mic, a smug and stupid looking orange character wearing a backwards cap grins smugly]
Something racist
PS: Yea, I'm racist
[yellow, speaking into their own mic, is S\HOCKED at what they just heard] Wow I can't believe you just said that
[an orange character smiles smugly, pointing at a tierlist]
CIVILIZATIONS TIERLIST
S-A: People who look like me
B-C-D-E-F: People I want to steal labor, land, and resources from
If this image is too big for your Fediverse client, my apologies, you can read the comic at https://thebad.website/comic/neutral_news
[a newscaster sits at their desk, has a gigantic grin on his face, barely looks human]
Good evening, welcome to NEUTRAL NEWS
Your favorite mainstream program that always brings you a balanced perspective
Tonight's top story: Some say a genocide is happening, others say it's a complicated situation
[destroyed buildings, smoke, a crashed car, things look real bleak]
LIVE FROM THE CITY OF GENOCIDEBURG
[split screen, the newscaster continues talking]
A government spokesperson from Genocideland contacted us to clarify that the images you are seeing now might be, I quote, "faked by antigenociders who want us dead"
[in the rubble of a destroyed city, a character looks absolutely desperate, shaking, is screaming]
THEY KILLED MY ENTIRE FAMILY
[split screen, the newscaster smiles smugly]
Thank you for your perspective
[a character in a suit talks, looking very smug]
We reject the premise that there was any killing or destruction
[split screen, the newscaster still smiles smugly]
A bold alternative narrative, worthy of consideration!
[the newscaster is back to the full face inhuman smile, standing next to a chart that shows a BALANCE between TRUTH and FEELINGS]
As always, we at NEUTRAL NEWS aim to meet in the middle
[three identical stern technocrat looking characters in suits are standing at a desk, behind a chart that goes up]
We need to wait for more data before reacting
Let us not get carried away by the emotional responses
It's a very complex topic
[two banners occupy the bottom part of the screen, below the experts]
DEATH COUNT: VERY HIGH AND GOING UP
Our expert panel says: this could mean anything
[in a destroyed city, in front of an explosion, a character wearing a PRESS helmet talks into a mic]
IT'S COMPLETE CHAOS OUT HERE, I HEARD EXPLOSIONS
[below the war reporter, the bottom half of the screen is occupied by two banners]
UNVERIFIED CLAIMS
We remind you that our experts in the studio say this is still a developing, nuanced situation
[split screen, the newscaster is mildly smiling at the war reporter]
Remember to take everything you see with a grain of salt!
[back to the newscaster at their desk, once again with the creepy full smile]
This was NEUTRAL NEWS presented to you by our sponsor Neutral Milk
Tired of extremes? Try Neutral Milk! Now with 50% less nutrients!
[Aimé Césaire, in his later years, has a serious and slightly sad look on his face]
No one colonizes innocently
Nor does anyone colonize with impunity
A nation that colonizes, that justifies colonization - therefore force - is already a sick civilization, a civilization that is morally diseased, which, irresistibly, from consequence to consequence, from denial to denial, calls forth its own Hitler, that is to say, its punishment. Colonization is the bridgehead of barbarism within a civilization from which, at any moment, the negation of civilization itself may emerge.
Aimé Césaire
Discourse on colonialism
1950
[a character speaks into a mic at a comedy club]
So my girlfriend was mad again… for no reason…
[the crowd heckles the comedian]
BOOOOOOOOOO
YOU'RE NOT FUNNY
GET BETTER MATERIAL
[at the same comedy club, a female presenting comedian is speaking into the same mic]
So that's when I said… check the comment section…
[the same crowd heckles the female presenting comedian]
BOOOOOOOOOO
WOMEN ARE NOT FUNNY
GET A REAL COMEDIAN
[a weird machine with fascist decorations is called the FASCIST STATEMENT TRANSLATOR MACHINE (powered by Grok and your tax dollars, it is providing a translation]
"Oh shit, they shot an innocent bystander" -> "Officer feared imminent vehicular bad vibes"
[at a lectern, an orange character grins smugly]
Ladies and gentlemen of the press, I have gathered you here today to inform you that our God loving officer feared imminent vehicular bad vibes from an evil person.
Also videos of the event are fake and don't exist.
And if they do exist, they prove it was self defense.
