“Cling tooth and nail to the following rule: Not to give in to adversity, never to trust prosperity, and always to take full note of fortune’s habit of behaving just as she pleases, treating her as if she were actually going to do everything it is in her power to do. Whatever you have been expecting for some time comes as less of a shock.” (Seneca, Letters from a Stoic)
One way (of several) to do the “Premeditatio Malorum”, the “premeditation of evils”, is to start your day with a walk through your calendar. Consider what you will do, where you will go, and who you will meet. Imagine how it might go wrong.
Now, think about how it will feel. How it will look to others. How you might be embarrassed, or angered, or disappointed. Just this part of the exercise has its benefits. It deadens the pain of the actual event, if it actually happens, through a sort of emotional-hardening process. It even extends to other, unrelated events - If you can endure sorrow better in this instance, you can endure it elsewhere.
Now consider how you might respond to this misfortune. How you might lessen the damage, soften the blow. Use this as an opportunity to do a little contingency planning. If the presentation goes poorly, is there another resource you can appeal to? Can you repurpose the meeting advantageously? Can you lay the groundwork for a second attempt?
Extend your definition of “misfortune” to include diversions and temptations that might challenge your values. Determine ahead of time how you will handle the free doughnuts in the break room. That cute married lady who flirts with you. That guy who is always making fun of your co-workers.
Finally, consider how you will handle the undesired emotions. How will you maintain the space you need to form a reasoned response? Just thinking about it lessens the shock. Knowing your strengths and weaknesses, what else are you going to have to do?
Now you can start the day knowing that you can still be surprised, but you can’t be shaken.
If you are interested in learning more about Practical Stoicism, you can visit the parent post here.