this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2025
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The Onion and other satire w/ layers

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[...]
“We played 27 shows so far, and all but one paid us in gas for our 15-passenger van. That one gave us a few five-gallon buckets of gyro meat. We’ve been eating it for four months,” said Josh Andersen, singer and guitarist for Slice. “When the scurvy set in, we tried treating it with a case of Fanta we found backstage. That didn’t work, but dripping blood from my gums while I sang absolutely fucked. Our limps looked great, too, because of how low we could hold our guitars. But then it got really hard to load the gear in and out.[...]

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