this post was submitted on 25 Apr 2025
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If you truly love your partner, does a ring and a ceremony really do anything?

I know there are certain legal situations where an official marriage changes who has certain rights, but aren't those same rights available if you make other legally-official decisions E.G. a will or trusts, etc?

I'm generally curious why people get married beyond the "because I love them" when it costs so much money.

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[–] Ziggurat@jlai.lu 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Depends a lot on your personal situation, and jurisdiction.

  • Doing a ceremony when you publicly say you love each other is already a valid reason

  • In some jurisdiction, you'd get a form of tax benefit for being married, it often comes with downside like having welfare benefit based on the couple revenue rather than on individual ones (hence the tax benefit). Talk with an accountant/Tax-lawyer knowing your local laws for details

  • It gives a legal status to your shared asset. Sure you could create a real-estate-investment company to buy your house and many people do that but being married, with a proper prenup give you a lot of agency regarding your shared asset

  • It protects the weaker partner, usually the one scarifying their carrer for the couple if things goes wrong

  • No need for a big ceremony, you can get a notary to prepare the pre-nup contract, and do a ceremony at the townhall with 2 witnesses and done.

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I follow most of these points but I'm not sure I understand point 4?

[–] AmidFuror@fedia.io 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"sacrificing their career"

[–] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

Ohh like if the couple is gonna have kids? Makes sense! Thanks for clearing that up!

[–] AA5B@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Depending on state, healthcare applies to spouses but may not for long term partners. You can’t do that with a will or trust

You also get tax benefits

Getting married should only be expensive if you want it to be, although too many people fall for the peer pressure.

  • For me I was overwhelmingly in love, ready to declare it to the world and willing to pay anything for the one big party of my life. That may not have entirely worked out, but was how I felt at the time
  • My best friend just got married for reasonable cost. Still had a big party, but it was 40 people in a park, and we went to a restaurant after.
  • Another friend got married inexpensively, maybe. Was it the $100 actual cost, or do you count the week in Vegas?
[–] troed@fedia.io 2 points 3 months ago

Are you perhaps asking from a US perspective? Or maybe Indian too. I don't know of any other countries where marriage is expensive really.

We got married in Vegas as a fun thing to do, since we're Swedish. Legally the difference is extremely small between being "sambo" (co-living) and being married, and we could just as well kept going without getting married.

[–] Kommeavsted@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (3 children)

Socially it's an excuse to party with everyone you love.

Legally it's only worth it if you have kids, plan to migrate countries, or have shitty immediate family among other things. But if you're just in a long term relationship with your finances otherwise separated, no kids or end of life concerns, ~~then it can be somewhat detrimental as you're just inviting the state in to meddle with your life.~~ it's just a formal interaction with the state.

Edit: see replies.

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[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

L in addition to protecting your land from invaders It’s very important when it comes to having kids. If you are married it’s easy

[–] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 1 points 3 months ago

Idk I hate it though my former bestfriend thinks of me as nothing more then a line item in her check book and I have to pay for her poor decisions.

[–] chunes@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

It makes boomers respect you more.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I didn't ever marry my ex, was irritated at how discriminatory legal marriage was back then, and we had kids so were a family anyway.

My husband now? He really wanted to be married, and "stepdad" is a different legal status than "mom's boyfriend", it smooths things when he had to do school pickup or doctor visit. So since he pushed and as I did see an upside we did.

Also you can't foster or adopt here unless you are married - unmarried man in the household is a known risk to the kids he's not related to. Statistically, it raises the risk of the kid getting hurt so single people can, or married couples but not unmarried hetero couples.

I am with you logically, I don't need it, and don't feel different and it's weird for the state to license families. I understand religious marriage but am not religious.

[–] MummysLittleBloodSlut@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] null_dot@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 3 months ago

It's not relevant in most countries because if it were you could just get married and get a visa.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world -1 points 3 months ago (3 children)

It doesn't HAVE to cost so much. The wedding doesn't cost a lot.

The ceremony and the party are what cost a lot.

But you can go down to city hall, in plain clothes, pay a small fine, fill out some paperwork, bada bing bada boom, married.

But good luck getting 99% of women to give up their dream wedding for a city hall wedding with 1 city appointed witness, and no guests.

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[–] deadcatbounce@reddthat.com -1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

As a male, none.

Have been helping people in family court for twenty years. The shift had been catastrophic for marriage from a male risk/reward.

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