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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ButterscotchWinter50 on 2023-07-27 16:19:45+00:00.
Backstory, I (25f) dated a guy in high school/beginning of college, B (25m). I was young and dumb and during that relationship I started to have some feeling towards one of our friends C (25m). So as a young dumb 19 year old, B and I broke up for a week, and I pursued things with C. We had a couple of dates, and kissed, but I ultimately was missing B so I cut things off with C and went back to B. I can't emphasis enough that I was young and dumb
Now, I am engaged to S (24m), we've been together for 6yrs. B & C are also close friends of ours and there are no hard feelings. C over the past 6yrs has hardly been in town because he’s been away at college. But when he is home he will make comments about or to me that have started to get to me. He will take every opportunity to dismiss me, prove me wrong, or make fun of me. Our friend group tends to pick on each other, but his comments have gone too far. In our friend groups’ discord I sometimes complain about work, or I’ll talk about current internet drama and he replies with "well actually" or "why should I care" comments. Or a few times I have asked if anyone would like to play a game, and a minute later he will ask people to do something with him.
About a 2 months ago I was hospitalized with a kidney infection and sepsis, and I have been on daily antibiotics since, so I can’t drink alcohol. C thought it would be funny to start the joke that I'm pregnant and can’t drink. He even said this joke to the mother of one of our other friends. After that, I sent a message saying that it is extremely not okay to joke about a woman being pregnant, it’s not funny, and our friends’ mother actually thought I was. No one responded to my message, instead a few hours later, C asked if anyone wanted to go see a movie.
After this incident, I opened up to one of our friends, J (23m) with my feelings about C. I don't know if he's sexist or misogynistic or if he just has a personal vendetta against me. J consoled me and said he would stick up for me. And things were better for a time, until last night.
We were in VC and I was looking up elopement packages for and I found one I thought was funny and this was the conversation:
Me- "I got it!! We can have an Alaskan Dog Mushing elopement!!"
C-"White woman moment"
B-"what'd you say?"
C-Interrupted me and said "don't worry B, it’s just a white woman moment"
B-"What is?"
Me - sarcastically "oh you know, just everything I say and do, because I am in fact a white woman"
C-"Don't do that, if you don't get the meme then don't respond. You're always trying to make me look sexist. You're always acting "woe is me I'm a woman", just knock it off. If you don't get the meme, don't say anything."
I was too stunned to speak, I think that is the most sexist defense for being not sexist I've ever heard. I've messaged J again about it, and S has heard my rants and is also pissed at C. I guess I am just wondering AITA for trying to get my friends on my side and creating a divide?