I knew a guy in the late 90s who checked himself into jail every winter. He just didn't have enough money to heat his home and buy food at the same time, and he was disabled and couldn't land a job in construction no more, so that's the only thing he found to stay alive.

When the snow started to come down, he'd go to our local minimart with a plastic gun. You know, like the really cheesy ones with a red cap at the muzzle, to make sure nobody would think it was real and gun him down my mistake, and to avoid getting a harsh sentence. He knew the store owner, since it was a small town and everybody knew each other.

He'd say hello, point the gun at him and gently say "Could you please call the police like last year?" The store owner used to try to talk him out of it, but he'd say "Don't force me to make it real because I don't wanna."

Then the sheriff would show up - they knew each other too of course - and he would try to convince him this wasn't a good idea. And the guy would say "Look, will you book me or not? Because if you don't, you'll come back next week to my place but with the coroner this time."

So the sheriff would book him. And the judge, who knew exactly why he was there at the trial, would sentence him to 5 months - time enough to get out in spring.

After I left town, I heard he kept doing that for many years, until he got tired of being poor and committed suicide.

This reminds me of a news story from a few years ago. An elderly man had robbed a bank and only asked for $1. When he was arrested he said he couldn't afford to get the various medical treatments he needed so he wanted to go to jail so he could get the healthcare they would provide him as a prisoner

In older times you could ask any grocrey store and they'd direct you to a place in back where they give away their just-expired food. But now they're salting their throwaways. ERs are supposed to not turn you away, and if they do it might justify stealing food.

Find out how the police respond to homeless people in your area (fellow transients will know). Some will help you out while others will be glad to assault you knowing no one will care.

Religious kitchens will force you to convert. In the old days, it was easier to play along, but I dont knownwhat the new methods of coercion are. They're a lot more abusive and bigoted now.

Hold up any bank in the United States. Make sure it's not armed and don't actually take anything.

You'll get like five years in the feds. Do 3.5-4 years in a camp. Get universal healthcare and free meals...

America is a third world country.

I think its funny (incredibly depressing) how disability doesnt scale with cost of living in your local area. Like my disabled mother makes about $1K a month off SSI and she lives in CA luckily with family.

She would be in this same situation if she had to move tomorrow. I aint doing much better but even working a job I dont make enough to rent here so we will have to find a way out together.

As a realistic answer that hopefully no one needs, stealing food and shelter is probably more comfortable than prison. Just do that, and if you get caught then mission accomplished anyway.

That thread was toxic AF. OP needed mental health care

drugs are illegal and plentiful in the US. Purchase them and if not arrested stock up as an alternate option.

What about the ER? Get yourself checked in for a mental breakdown or the like, stay the night. It's not like they will be able to collect on the bill if your income is measured in cents per day and your address is "under the overpass near that one busy intersection."

Punch a USPS driver... It's a feddie to assault a federal worker... I would definitely reach out to some mutual aid groups first though. Prison isn't very fun and I can't imagine not very entertaining if you can't read.

Traffic ticket, hearing, then insult the judge until contempt of court.

Shit, I would look at it another way. What other time in history could someone ask this. Its not like prisons in the fifties had wheelchair ramps.