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I want to face my fear of driving. Looking for kindness and advice, thank you. (Long) (lemmy.zip)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by howler@lemmy.zip to c/dull_mens_club@lemmy.world

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So... I got my diver's license as soon as I turned 18. It was a very stressful period of my life, and I hated everything about driving. They promised me freedom, but I got shackled.

Passing the exam as a nightmare (took me 3 attempts) and even during the lessons the professor saw how horribly tense I was. I got sick just by thinking about the car.

Once I passed, my family decided that I'd get over my fears by forcing me to drive, every single day, for weeks, with the whole family in the car, yelling, mocking me...

I had several panic attacks that were dismissed as lack of maturity, and I stopped driving. It's been years.

But now I'm going to have to get better at this due to circumstances, and I'm scared.

I feel that I can't focus on all the elements of the road, I have a very hard time calculating distances because I'm very short (edit: 1'50m, if that is relevant) and barely see above the wheel, I have to move the seat so close to the wheel that I fear that if one day the airbag jumps, I'll suffocate. My blind spots seem infinite.

My car is automatic, so no stick to worry about.

If you have read all I wrote, I'll greatly appreciate any advice or encouragement. Thank you

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[–] aramis87@fedia.io 6 points 4 months ago (4 children)

I have a very hard time calculating distances because I'm very short and barely see above the wheel, I have to move the seat so close to the wheel that I fear that if one day the airbag jumps, I'll suffocate. My blind spots seem infinite.

Okay, so, you're not an older driver (like over 50), which is what these are intended for, but I also know some places are fine with fitting in younger drivers. Look for a program called CarFit. Like I said, it's mostly aimed at seniors, but I've taken it.

They verified all the safety features of the car were all working, and then adjusted them to fit me: they moved the seatbelt shoulder down (I didn't even know it moved!), adjusted the steering wheel angle so the airbag wouldn't punch me in the throat if it went off, verified the headrest was in the right position to minimize whiplash, ensured I had maximum visibility in my side mirrors and explained how to adjust them properly, etc. It was very useful!

I'd also suggest that some of your issues may be solvable with simple aids. A short woman I know has a cushion she sits on to improve her visibility over the wheel; I myself added small extra mirrors to my side mirrors, to improve visibility.

Finally, I did a quick Google for "tips for very short drivers subreddit" and there were a number of posts over the years, with various suggestions. None of them will help with your actual fear, but some of them may help put you in a position to cope with your fear. Good luck!

[–] howler@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 months ago (3 children)

I can't find a CarFit program but I guess there have to be similar ones where I live (Spain). I added extra mirrors too, and they were helpful indeed! The cushion part is heavily discouraged, and I haven't been able to find legally approved cushions for drivers :(

[–] snazzlles@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Very well might not be possible to get a different car, but some car models are known to be more suitable for shorter drivers (eg. the Fiat 500)

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