this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2025
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An American woman I know was angry and referred to a gay couple as "queens". I raised it, she is straight cis and says the word is fine in America. I'm in the UK and it's not ok here unless you're lgbt yourself (and even then plenty wouldn't like it).

Can anyone advise?

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[–] megopie@beehaw.org 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (1 children)

I’m from America, I’ve never heard of it being used in a derogatory context. i’ve heard it used in a couple of contexts, one being out of AAVE as an endearing term, usually used between women. The other being a shortening of the term drag queen, again, usually in an endearing context. I think the two uses have a link in the past as drag shows have a lot of roots in the queer African American community, but I haven’t looked that deeply in to it.

Generally I think the “it’s not ok for people outside of the group to say it” kind of terms are usually reclaimed derogatory terms or slurs, and I’ve never heard of queen being used in a derogatory sense, outside perhaps the term “welfare queen” coined by regan to disparage people who relied on various welfare programs, specifically single African American mothers. But, that context is kind of a race and class context and not where I think the term comes from even in AAVE. Could be wrong, maybe it is a reclaiming of that, but that wouldn’t really be a LGBTQ community thing.

There’s probably a different history in the UK, maybe something to do with the monarchy, but at least in American English if there is any sensitive element there, it probably links back more to African American culture than to queer culture.

[–] FamousBlue@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

"Queen" has historically often been used as a slur against specifically gay men in American culture, the OP's context is an example of that.