this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
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[โ€“] notapantsday@feddit.de 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think a lot of them don't believe therapy can change anything about their situation.

They don't think it has anything to do with their mental health. They believe that them being lonely, unwanted and unworthy of love is just the natural state of things and all they can do is learn to cope with it. And as long as they can function and get by most days, that's as good as it will ever get for them. So in their logic, therapy makes no sense because there's nothing to improve.

[โ€“] pixeltree@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

The very low default state of being is very accurate. It's how you survive when things are that bad, you can't hope things will get better because that won't happen and it will only push you lower than you already were when you inevitably give that hope up again. You are incapable of being close to people, because it's just not possible to support you. You'll just end up dragging them down. Trying to find a relationship is just not something you're capable of, and yet you still resent the loneliness. You either blame yourself and the depression gets worse, or you blame the people you couldn't have a relationship with anyways because you can't try and really go down the road to inceldom.

It's not like most people going through this are unaware of their mental health problems. It's just that the thought patterns you're stuck in keep you stuck in them. Getting help seems like a herculean task, and you will never have the strength to attempt it.