Advice

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This is a community where you can ask for Advice on anything as we all need some Advice on something every now and again

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  6. Give OP the benefit of the doubt. This community is for advice only, not for judgment, scrutiny, or disbelief. If you believe OP is lying or trolling, report the thread and move on. In threads related to sexual assault or rape, do not assume OP is lying as it is impossible for you to know the real story. Act as if OP is telling the truth. Victim-blaming will not be tolerated. Victim-shaming will not be tolerated.

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  8. We are NOT professionals we are just random internet strangers trying to help people if you need real help please get help from a professional.

founded 5 years ago
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I’m a tenant in Hawaiʻi dealing with a situation that’s gotten progressively worse, and I’m hoping for advice on what my rights are and what steps I should take next. A few weeks ago, I discovered bedbugs in my room. I immediately reported it and cooperated fully with cleaning, vacuuming, and treatment. I’ve been documenting everything. Despite this, my landlord has been blaming me for the infestation without any evidence. Here are the main issues: • Physical contact: During a conversation, she got upset and jabbed me in the back with her finger. It wasn’t an accident — it was out of anger. • Pressure to leave: She’s told me I should “stay somewhere else” and has made comments that feel like she’s trying to push me out without any formal notice. • Unequal treatment: There’s a washer and dryer in the house, but she won’t let me use it. I’m expected to go to the laundromat while other people in the house use the machines. • Internet disruptions: I interview for remote jobs, and the household sometimes lets the internet go offline. I’ve offered to fix it and explained the importance of my interviews, but nothing changes. • Noise issues: I work overnight and need mornings to sleep, but the house is extremely loud during my recovery hours. • Financial impact: I’ve had to pay for laundromat use, cleaning supplies, and deal with missed or disrupted job interviews due to internet issues. I’m on SSDI and trying to get back into remote work, so these disruptions are affecting my income and stability. I’ve already contacted Legal Aid and completed an intake, but I haven’t heard back yet. In the meantime, I want to understand what my rights are and whether any of this qualifies as harassment, retaliation, or something I can take action on. What steps should I take while waiting for Legal Aid to respond? Is documenting everything enough for now? Has anyone dealt with something similar in Hawaiʻi? Any guidance is appreciated.

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I'm an intern at a workplace where they are heavily into this LGAT thing called 'PSI Seminars.' LGATs are cult like I suppose.

I tried to complete the PSI Seminars basic but ended up feeling very unwell and going home the second day.

I ended up catching a cold. Didn't go to work for a week.

Since I have come back, things have fallen apart. I was being considered for temporary work for November and part of December. They had been telling me this since October 6th.

Well, not anymore. They just replied with, 'Oh, we found someone else.'

A couple of people who were incredibly nice before treat me like a pariah. Like they're annoyed to even see me.

People avoid me now. Most people in the office went through and finished PSI Basic.

I'm sad because things were looking up, and they came crashing down. I only get 80 hours for this internship, and I might just spend the rest of them just sitting at a desk doing and learning nothing. I'm like an afterthought now.

I know I have no future there. And when this internship ends, I will not have an income stream from an additional source.

I suffer from depression and I feel myself going to a deep dark place.

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submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by Allah@lemm.ee to c/advice@lemmy.ml
 
 

Are There Any Unicorns? No, there are no unicorns. The speaker uses "unicorns" as a mythical category of developers who don’t exist in reality. Instead, the talk focuses on two realistic types: Humans: Developers with limited cognitive resources (mental energy), which is what we all are.

Humanoids: Developers treated as if they have unlimited cognitive resources—like perfect memory and endless focus—but this is an unrealistic expectation. Everyone, even the best developers, is human, not a humanoid. The speaker dismisses unicorns entirely, saying, “I’m not going to talk about unicorns ‘cause they don’t exist,” emphasizing that we should focus on real human limitations rather than chasing impossible ideals.

The Party Scenario: What Do Web Developers Need to Know?

Imagine you’re at a party with web developers and non-developers, and someone casually says, “How hard can web development be?” Suddenly, everyone chimes in with their opinions on what skills you absolutely must know to call yourself a web developer. The room erupts into an argument because no one agrees—some say you need to be a “rock star” or “ninja,” others list specific technical skills, and the debate spirals. Even asking “experts” doesn’t help because the internet (think Hacker News, Reddit, etc.) offers 10,000 conflicting opinions. The speaker highlights this chaos to make a key point: there’s no single “right” answer to what you must know. This lack of consensus can feel comforting—it means you’re not failing if you don’t match someone’s checklist—but it also shifts the question.

Instead of asking, “What do I have to know?” the better question is: “How fast and effectively can I learn what I need to survive and grow as a developer?” The talk pivots here to focus on how we learn, not just what we learn, because web development moves too fast for a fixed skill list.

Key Insights on Learning and Cognitive Resources The speaker frames learning around cognitive resources—your brain’s limited capacity for focus, problem-solving, and self-control.

Here’s what you need to know:

Cognitive Resources Are Limited Your mental energy is one tank: it powers thinking, decision-making, and willpower. Drain it on one task (like memorizing seven digits instead of two), and you’re more likely to choose cake over fruit—or struggle with coding later. Everyday examples: Saying “sure, no problem” to a boss when you’re overwhelmed burns resources. Even tiny frustrations (like losing an Apple TV remote) add up, bleeding your mental energy dry. Three Problems in Learning as a Developer Pile-up on B: You’re juggling too many skills that demand effort (the “can do with effort” stage), draining your cognitive resources so nothing gets mastered. Example: Trying to learn an entire API at once overwhelms you. Intermediate Blues: You plateau because skills you’ve mastered (moved to “automatic”) are outdated or low-quality, holding you back. Example: Sticking to text editors for 30 years instead of using an IDE, wasting mental energy. Too Slow: Learning takes too long in a field where new tools and techniques emerge constantly. You can’t keep up with the pace. Solutions to Learn Faster and Better For Pile-up on B: Break skills into small subskills and master them one at a time. Aim to go from “can’t do” to “mastered” (95% success) in 1-3 sessions of 45-90 minutes each. If it takes longer, the subskill is too big. Why? Smaller wins prevent overwhelm and move skills to “automatic” faster. For Intermediate Blues: Revisit and refine your mastered skills regularly. Ask: “Is this still relevant? Does it need tweaking?” Example: Switching to an IDE after decades saved cognitive resources and boosted efficiency. For Too Slow: Use perceptual learning: Expose yourself to 200-300 high-quality examples of a skill in a short time. Your brain pattern-matches unconsciously, skipping the slow “effort” stage. Examples: Chicken sexing (sorting chicks with feedback) or WWII plane spotting—experts couldn’t explain how they did it, but novices became experts fast by observing tons of examples. Why This Matters at the Party Back at the party, while everyone argues about must-have skills, the speaker’s point is: stop obsessing over the list. Focus on managing your cognitive resources to learn efficiently. You’re human, not a humanoid with infinite capacity. The internet’s “rock star” demands are unrealistic—your real power lies in how you handle your limited mental energy. The Community Angle The speaker ends by urging you to look at fellow developers as humans, not unicorns or humanoids. Help each other save cognitive resources—share high-quality examples, simplify tasks, and support learning. At the party, this means less arguing about “what to know” and more collaborating on “how to learn.” Takeaway

You don’t need to be a unicorn (they don’t exist) or a humanoid (an illusion). As a human web developer, master your cognitive resources: Learn small, focused subskills quickly. Keep your skills fresh and relevant. Use perceptual learning to accelerate progress. Lean on your community to make it sustainable. That’s what you need to know—not a checklist, but a strategy to thrive in the chaos of web development.

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I'm 24 and about to be 25 I'm constantly feeling like having a panic attack even fast heart beats. I know death can come at any moment and it's just that fact alone that someone can just kill you. It's the fact I don't go anywhere that kept me alive. I hope to be alive from an older age but I haven't done anything useful which I'm sad about death. I'm sad I smoke as well I'm sad that this means I've mostly killed myself. You know what actually does happen? If death is just like sleep that might be peaceful but there's not really another chance at living. If it's something then it's like I might see people I don't like I miss people in some way but not being able to see them again because they committed suicide or some other stuff. I don't get it anymore actually and just kind of wait which I hate.