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Anon is no angle (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 8 months ago by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
41 comments fedilink hide all child comments

>be me
>lifting in the garage
>mom walks in with a plate of tendies with chinese sauce
>always told mom to not to come to the garage while I lifted
>always told mom to never look me in my eyes while I lifted (its where my demons hide)
>she made eye contact
>the plate fell from her hands
>the young man she had been raising had turned into a FUCKED UP beast
>she covers her mouth with both her hands as she lets out a yelp
>turns around and runs away
>put the rusty barbell down
>calmly walk up to the mirror and smash it as I see the beast too
Gosh dang it /fit/, we were gonna go shopping this weekend. What do I do now?

all 42 comments
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[-] InfiniteStruggle@sh.itjust.works 62 points 8 months ago

I can't say if this is satire.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 43 points 8 months ago

WTF is "Chinese sauce"?

[-] TxzK@lemmy.zip 74 points 8 months ago

A sauce of Chinese origin one would assume

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 54 points 8 months ago

As one might get with a succulent Chinese meal? At McDonald's???

[-] Klear@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

Localised entirely in your kitchen?!?

[-] EmoDuck@sh.itjust.works 4 points 8 months ago

And my axe!

[-] bionicjoey@lemmy.ca 9 points 8 months ago

Ah yes. I see you know your Judo well.

[-] zip@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 8 months ago

UNHAND MY PENIS!

[-] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 11 points 8 months ago

Szechuan sauce. Subtle Rick and Morty reference implying he's a neck beard fanatic.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Do they even make Szechuan sauce anymore though? Are people on 4Chan just reposting their own stories now or did McDonald's just give him old rancid sauces?

[-] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

I always assume it's an old meme being reposted on Lemmy.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

The date says 3/1/24

[-] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 months ago

It's one of the McD standard sauces you can get with chicken nuggets : BBQ, curry or Chinese.

[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 27 points 8 months ago

Theres only one option now, Anon. Pick that bar back up.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 months ago

And put it down. And then pick it up again.

[-] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 26 points 8 months ago

I am so lost.

[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 29 points 8 months ago

Anon is telling a satirical story about how primal and intimidating they are now that they lift weights.

[-] Blue_Morpho@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

It sounds like a scene from Teen Wolf.

[-] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 2 points 8 months ago

Is it...actual satire though? Or does homie actually think that way?

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 13 points 8 months ago

I take it you don’t lift. It can be difficult for the untapped to understand our mindset. Me btw

[-] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 3 points 8 months ago

I bow to your...unquestionable experience lmao

[-] massive_bereavement@kbin.social 2 points 8 months ago

Oh, why did I look! Why!!

[-] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 8 months ago

I’m pretty sure you’re already aware but there have been issues with kbin lately. I didn’t realize it was “2 days to federate a reply” bad, but that’s how she be.

[-] DAMunzy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 8 months ago

That means you're mostly normal. Shh, bby. It's ok

[-] elbucho@lemmy.world 21 points 8 months ago

He might not be an angle, but he sure is acute!

[-] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 19 points 8 months ago

How can you say he is no angle when he's clearly being obtuse.

[-] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 8 months ago

John, you are the demons

[-] Patches@sh.itjust.works 7 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

John Demonsoul, That's what we used to call him.

[-] Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 8 months ago

Wow that's a throwback

[-] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

How bout you not lift in the nude, anon?

[-] Wetstew@lemmy.world 6 points 8 months ago

i can fix him

[-] Shou@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

Please do... how?

[-] The_wild_card@lemmy.ml 5 points 8 months ago

Woah he is strongh enough to cut me through the internet.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 3 points 8 months ago

Relatable

this post was submitted on 04 Mar 2024
240 points (89.5% liked)

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