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!dadforaminute@lemmy.world !superbowl@lemmy.world
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I mean it is wholesome that dad would do that.
But if you find yourself in situations where you might need an escape like this that often that you make this kind of deal, you might reconsider your friend group because that's an unhealthy relationship.
Children literally have not had the experience to recognize these situations, their brains aren't fully developed, and aren't fully in charge of their own lives. I agree that if you're doing this often then you may want to have a conversation about how it keeps happening, but it's much better for a kid to feel like they have a safety net. Otherwise they may stick in the shady situation and end up in more trouble
I agree with you but the human brain is constantly developing throughout our lives. It's never fully developed.
I dunno, I'm so stupid that I'm pretty sure my brain has stopped developing, and, in certain areas is regressing.
It never stops changing, but there is a significant freeze around 25. From about 12-25 there are massive changes to the brain. It also coincides with them first gaining true freedom, and learning the pros and cons of that.
There was a study that stopped checking for rapid development at 25. They didn't show a "significant freeze" at 25, they just didn't gather any data after that.
eh, its good to have a plan whether or not certain occurances are common.
I know what to grab (if I can) and where I'm going if my house is on fire because i made a plan. doesn't mean my house catches fire often, just that I'm realistic about possible dangers and how to respond to them.
So this sounds like a kid who's in high school, probably 14 or 15. Enough freedom to go off and make mistakes, not old enough to always be able to bail from weird situations (no car or license, just doesn't have the confidence yet to speak up).
You want your kids to go out and make mistakes, just not ones that have permanent consequences. Having a set up like this is how you let them go get in a little trouble and have a reasonably safe exit plan.
Not necessarily. It's perfectly possible to have a healthy friendship with someone who has some self destructive habits that you aren't going to hang around for (drugs, alcohol, etc). As an adult, you'd just remove yourself from the situation and not worry about being uncool, but this is a teenager we're talking about.
So I was a kid who was goofy and hung out with gamer kids. One LAN party the kids from the other high school showed up and we went for a drive.
I had no idea it was going to happen, but one kid had a handgun and shot out from the moving car window in a residential neighborhood without any warning.
I probably would have taken my parents up on the offer to bail if I had a code word to do it, but I wasnt about to call my daddy in a car with an unstable kid with a gun to say im scared come get me.
Tldr its a good thing don't shit on it.
Oh I'm not saying it isn't.
But one question, would you still hang out with that one guy, and then make a coded text message with your parents to extract you, in case it happened again?
Or would you just cut that one guy it off your life?
Emergencies are always best prevented, but it's still best to have a plan in place for them. This is the emergency plan.
Now, if the kid is routinely invoking it then it's probably time to have a talk about what setting boundaries with friends looks like and offering support if toxic friendships need be ended, but having a code like this figured out in advance is always going to be advisable IMO.
This is the opportunity for them to learn that without getting injured or arrested.
Friend had a safe word because she wouldn't poop at other people's homes.
I tell all my nieces and nephews that if they're ever doing something that will get them in trouble with their parents but they feel unsafe or need a ride home, that I will drop what I'm doing and be there for them, and will smooth things over with their parents.
I also have a deal with the parents that if I ever need to do that, the kids won't be punished.
I suspect this deal would disintegrate if a niece or nephew ever did something that would get them in trouble with their parents.
My son and I have our coded message that we know to share only when we want the other to literally drop everything, track location, and potentially call 911. If said over the phone or via text, it seems like one party is irresponsible, and the other party is irritated.
I doubt we’ll ever have to say it, but to me it’s worth us having set that up.
Can you give an example?
If one of them says What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo. it means the other is in trouble.
That's convenient, since you can text it one handed with your eyes closed.
In high school, a few friends and I had this. I had a really great friend group. Never needed it, fortunately.
And then he posts the secret code for all the internet to see.
Don't worry, there's no young people here.
That could get awkward if the kid butt-texts an X. Maybe use a more complicated code.
I have this with a friend. But it's more for things like "I need help disposing of this body ASAP".
This is the plot of an episode of The Middle.
