Hi, I've been running something similar with Tailscale. Instead of traefik, you can use any other TCP proxy like nginx or caddy-l4, or even use tailscale serve on the edge VPS as well. Do note that all of your listed services except Zola will make outbound requests, so it could be better to also exit node through the VPS (like the article did), as to avoid exposing your residential IP.
As for the linked personas, you may wanna use one domain instead of two. Matrix homeservers can be resource-heavy for example, so maybe consider @persona1:example.com and @persona2:example.com on a single server instead of having two resource hubs that does essentially the same thing. The same applies to GotoSocial and Lemmy. By the way, I recommend Continuwuity for the Matrix server :)
Static sites don't actively take up resources, so they can be on separate domains. But again you may wanna save some money, so maybe consider using persona1/persona2.example.com subdomains, or even pubnix-style example.com/~persona(1|2) paths!
As for the Docker management frontend, I have no idea which one's the best right now ๐ but do make use of Tailscale SSH feature to troubleshoot other parts of your machines as well. And as for updates, I just subscribe to RSS feeds to keep the important software updated. Highly recommend you do that too to check out changelogs yourself.