This is a community in the spirit of "Am I The Asshole" where people can post their own bans from lemmy or reddit or whatever and get some feedback from others whether the ban was justified or not.
Sometimes one just wants to be able to challenge the arguments some mod made and this could be the place for that.
All posts should follow this basic structure:
Expect to receive feedback about your posts, they might even be negative.
Make sure you follow this instance's code of conduct. In other words we won't allow bellyaching about being sanctioned for hate speech or bigotry.
YPTB matrix channel: For real-time discussions about bastards or to appeal mod actions in YPTB itself.
Some acronyms you might see.
Relevant comms
The post in question
Ah yes, Lemmy, so popular with kids it competes with Roblox for the pervs attention
Whenever I go to the store, I see at least 4 or 5 kids begging their parents to let them have an account.
Sexuality?????? “Likes to hold hands/be married with girls and/or boys” is not “sexual” and little kids can quite easily get that.
Seriously, is a kid with straight married parents not allowed to know their parents are married/like each other??? Tf
I sometimes worry that the straight, cis folks aint right :/
These days, both the straights and the straits are not OK.
Mod posted a response: https://lemmy.world/post/52564578
I have recently received some feedback about including sexuality as a topic for dad jokes. Although it was not the most constructive of feedback, some points were made. Sex as a topic is not the same as sexuality, and I apologize for not making that distinction clearer. I was basing my moderating on what was being reported and sex being a topic as understood for children closer to puberty, although sexuality such as LGBTQ+ parents/partners/people can be understood much earlier. While I stand by still keeping actual sexual themes (anatomy, sex positions, etc.) as an off-limits topic for the community, sexuality seems reasonable to include.
This community is not static; I want to do my best to maintain a place that can grow with the community while staying true as a place for humor in a world that has plenty of unpleasant things. I am not a bot, and am indeed a person that is open to having respectful discussions.
Tell me what you think should and should not be included as “off limits topics.” Should profanity be allowed, or possibly only certain words? Are there other suggestions you have? I will try to look at the common themes from any feedback and apply them over the next two weeks or so.
As far as mod responses go, that's pretty dang good. For as much as we complain about bad mods we should applaud the good.
Fully agree. It's a great example of how to respond to criticism constructively. The Piefed developers should take notes, lol.
This person believes in abstinence
Also, did they unban the post? Or is this just damage control?
I posted a response in the thread 🙂
Scrolling through the community quickly, there were like 3 jokes mentioning a husband's wife, one mentioning a car's manual transmission stalling, and one that's over a week old that includes the word "ass' which is directly breaking the no-profanity rule, yet somehow the concept of a gay couple is too confusing for a 6 year old? Oh and also a joke about "Cherenkov radiation" which I am 1000% confident no 6 year old on earth has ever heard of.
PTB
Maybe people should be reporting those other posts mentioning heterosexual couples to make a point.
Equating gay/bi people with sex and therefore inappropriate for children is a tactic of bigotry. The same argument was used to say that it's wrong for Mr. Ratburn to get married on Arthur, despite the episode being completely innocuous, or for any of the lgbtq characters in Steven Universe to exist. It's literally an argument to exclude queer people from society.
Same reason why showing gay relationships or drag on TV makes "christians" go nuts. They equate it to adult sexual behavior in order to silence it and keep it away from "family communities."
Someone needs to tell that mod that dad jokes aren't for the kids.
If your 5-year-old can't understand someone being gay then you're a shit parent.
Ignoring that the avarage age of lemmy could be 25 up to 35 years
but sexuality not until closer to puberty
I'd say that a kid would understand sexuality better "look, they just love eachothers" vs "they are male but with a female body" or sum
Ignoring that the avarage age of lemmy could be 25 up to 35 years
I think it's actually much higher.
This is admittedly purely anecdotal and your mileage may thus vary, but in my experience as an elder millennial, most people here are around my age or older 🤷🏻
Do we know what mod made this very homophobic decision, because I would like to know that they've been banned for this.
What's everyone so upset about? Clearly, the 3-6 year-olds on Lemmy have been protected!
...from knowledge about the existence of gay and/or bi people.
Another one of the bigots who think mentioning anything not straight is both sexual and political - PTB
Ptb. That the mod doesn't understand the difference between romantic and sexual attraction says a lot about them as a person. It says even more that they expect the jokes to be understandable by a 5yo.
On the bright side, this is Lemmy! Anyone can make a new Dad Jokes community that doesn't have that stupid rule.
PTB, obviously.
"Of course their gonna know what intercourse is by the time they hit fourth grade, they got the discovery channel, don't they?". In most situations like this, pre-internet, your older cousins would say "You'll find out when you're older".
I'm going to say that's not a dad joke, but it's fucking hilarious. That said, the stated reason for removing it is idiotic.
Wtf? 10000% PTB.
All you have to do to illustrate how stupid this removal is, is to imagine this couple also has a kid, whom this joke is told infront of.
Spoilers: The kid likely isn't going to get it, in the same way that many many kids cartoons make reference based jokes and quips, and even mildly raunchy jokes that kids also do not understand... unless the context has already been previously explained to them.
Thats the point, thats how they work as jokes, you need the context otherwise its meaningless.
Then the other part of the joke is you get it while the kid doesn't, the joke landing two different ways at the same time makes you feel more knowledgable, that joke is for you, the parent/guardian, so the show is fun for you too.
Even if there were 3-6 yo lemmy users... the logic for removing this still doesn't actually make sense.
Part of the cleverness of the joke is that it is indecipherable to a kid that doesn't understand sex or sexuality... it thus doesn't 'expose' kids to anything they don't already understand.
One thing that everyone should learn in sex ed is the Kinsey scale 0-6, and bisexual is 1-5 on the scale, so that's most of the scale. Most people don't know this and if they do, most won't admit the same gender attraction. Even in generally decent marriages to the opposite gender, they never know each other fully. Some might confuse that as choosing to be "straight" but they are still Kinsey 4 or whatever, and should not be resentful of people who chose both ways or not marriage. They should support equal rights too. It's all good whatever number people are, be free!
Clean jokes only please. If you cannot tell this joke to a 5-year-old and they can understand, you probably shouldn’t post it here. Please post edgier jokes to: !unclejokes@lemmy.world
I suppose this is the rule the mod refers to.
And well, I feel like there is a bit of a mix up going on here because the rule implies filthy jokes as well as jokes that go over the head of a 5 year old, which are two different things, but here are treated as the same.
In this case, I completely agree that your joke more than likely would go over the head of a five year old because the concept of bisexuality might not be somethingt a five year old has been exposed to yet and even if they have, they may not understand the punchline as it is a bit high brow for their age group.
However, it's not a flithy joke and the implications of this rule is super unfortunate.
I also think that if I had been the mod in this instance, I would've not given a single fuck that you made a joke that was a bit more high brow than the average dad joke. If I may pretend for a second, that was a particularly nitpicky mod, I would have made a comment mentioning this rule and started a discussion with you and the other users to find out whether or not the joke was too clever for a five year old or if other people in the comments could attest to their five year olds being able to get the joke or not. That way it becomes a productive community discussion rather than a shut down.
I think that would have been a much better approach, tbh, rather than deleting it. No matter what the subject matter is, if it is this harmless, I don't think it's appropriate for a mod to start deleting things. It creates a bad atmosphere and insecurity in a community when people can't express themselves in good faith without getting punished.
Your joke should not have been deleted imo.
. If I may pretend for a second, that was a particularly nitpicky mod, I would have made a comment mentioning this rule and started a discussion with you and the other users to find out whether or not the joke was too clever for a five year old or if other people in the comments could attest to their five year olds being able to get the joke or not. That way it becomes a productive community discussion rather than a shut down.
I agree, and that's actually what the mod did after seeing the post (it's the announcement pinned to the top of !dadjokes@lemmy.world). Turns out they were much more reasonable than I gave them credit for and also restored the post after the community agreed that it shouldn't have been deleted 😁
, I don't think it's appropriate for a mod to start deleting things. It creates a bad atmosphere and insecurity in a community when people can't express themselves in good faith without getting punished.
I agree. Speaking of which, do you know if mods and/or admins have the ability to move posts to other communities? I've had so many posts deleted due to mods thinking another community is a better fit and would much rather they move it lol
I clocked Bert and Ernie as a gay couple as a five year old.
I've known what lesbians were for as long as I can remember, because I have an auntie who was in a civil partnership with another woman. Apparently when it was explained to me in basic terms (after I had asked what a lesbian was, as I'd overheard it), I was just like "oh, okay." and went back to playing. Kids are better at understanding this stuff than we give them credit for
Split on this. The assumption 5 year olds couldn't get this joke because its funny to be in a gay marriage but not yourself gay seems bigoted. Kids could get that just as easily as jokes about straight couples. At the same time rule says no jokes with death or sex. PTB I.M.O.
Edit: On reflection placing sexuality in the category with drugs, death, and racism seems rough
sex.
It's not talking about sex though. Gay and bi people existing within a marriage has nothing to do with sex.
Or even sexuality really, because, once you actually raise your knowledge beyond "basic biology", it becomes eerily obvious that romantic attraction and sexual attraction aren't always in sync.
But regardless of that, why the fuck would you moderate an ONLINE FORUM based on what 3-5 year olds understand? They don't understand taxes, are tax jokes banned? They don't know how to drive, are road rage dad jokes off the list too?
The more I think about this, the more this mod can suck my clit. Am I supposed to disappear because I'm a bisexual person married with a kid? Am I supposed to not exist around my child because I might make a joke about being bisexual? Am I supposed to hide my own bisexuality until my kid is a teenager?
What the fuck is this gatekeeping?
This is your typical "I'm not homophobic, I don't mind gay people, but" person. They don't "mind" gay/bi/lesbian/trans/queer people existing as long as they do it without them needing to acknowledge that existence.
Or to simplify it... they ARE homophobic, but because of current social trends they're not allowed to say it out loud and they don't want to get cancelled.
There is no law forcing sex and marriage to be intertwined, its just an assumption since they normally do. This joke mentions nothing about sex in the marriage, just a play on which genders each in the marriage are attracted to.since most people forget bi people exist