this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2026
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[–] wittymcusername@lemmy.zip 26 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Some of y’all never had Helper and it shows.

“Want to eat at my house? My mom’s making Helper.”

“You mean like Hamburger Helper?”

“Yeah but without the hamburger.”

Being too poor to afford hamburger is not exactly a new condition.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Hamburger Helper without the Hamburger still slaps.

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[–] Murse@slrpnk.net 68 points 4 days ago (17 children)

Happy to say I'm past the piss-broke stage of life, but I'll never forget how much is sucks. One of the really shitty things about it is all the products marketed toward selling us a 'cheap' meal, and we buy it because you don't question it: it's poverty food, right? Must be among the cheapest options in the store, right?

Then you start pricing stuff out by things like cost-per-gram and realize you're getting ripped off. To answer OPs question, I'd call that dish: predatory, bc it's an up-charged box of ingredients that you can buy separately in probably that same aisle for much cheaper.

For anyone reading this who is stuck in that hell, first off: /hug. Second, the real poverty food MVP is rice. I don't recall the price off the top of my head, and even if I did I'm sure it's inflated since I was a frequent buyer, but look for "fortified short grain" which is usually the least expensive and is 'fortified' with some extra nutrients to get something other than carbs. Buy it in bulk - you can get it in 50lb bags at places like Costco (if you don't have a membership, mooch a ride there off someone who does, they can get you through the door/checkout) or Asian/Middle Eastern grocery stores. Price it out to what you're paying for the amount used in a single meal, and it's like a literal nickel.

Rice makes for a boring meal by itself, but it'll fill you up. Your second best friend is the clearance shelf. Pretty much any meat or veggie can go with rice. You'd be surprised how well other shit work with rice too... I recall having a single slice of shitty supreme pizza in the fridge; not enough for a satisfying meal, but, fuck it, whipped up a serving of rice, chopped up the slice of pizza crust and all, and threw it in when the rice was just about soft enough to eat and kinda stir fried it in. The oils from the cheese and sausage all got soaked up by the rice... end result wasn't amazing by any stretch, but it was away more satisfying than a single slice of pizza or bowl of plain rice, tasted decent, costed pennies.

Pro tip: buy some snack-sized ziplock bags, measure out what you need for a serving, portion it into a ton of individual bags, and keep those in a sealed 5-gallon buckets. There's a type of beetle that lays its eggs in rice, and it may not hatch until after you've bought it. Then they propagate, and there are tiny beetles all over the batch... and losing the better part of a 50lb bag to those fuckers is pretty heart breaking. If you portion it out first, and then it hatches, you lose a single-portion ziplock full. No biggie. Also keep the empty ziplocks and reuse them for the next big bag of rice.

Also get a cheap rice cooker as soon as you can afford it - a pot works fine, but a rice cooker will get you much more consistent results for much less effort.

[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 23 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Add some beans and spices to that rice for an almost nutrient complete meal that can taste pretty damned good.

[–] RememberTheApollo_@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

^ Beans FTW.

Dress it up with hot sauce if you can find it.

Getting slightly off the path of “cheap”…

If you have a grocery nearby that sells cheap goods from south of the border, grab some plantains. Wait until they’re good and dark, peel, cut them in half lengthwise and then in about 2” pieces and fry them. Making me hungry just thinking about it. Sofrito for the rice.

One of my favorite cheap meals.

(USD)

Sofrito jar 2.99

25 lb bag of rice 13.50 (~55 cups of rice, 25¢ a cup)

1 lb beans, pinto 1.19, black 1.59 (2 cups/bag, 60¢ cup)

Hot sauce 1.19

Plantains 65¢ each.

Rice and beans, decent serving, 1 cup cooked each makes a good amount, 85¢ total. Assuming some salt is already available to cook the rice with.

So adding a cup of sofrito, a dash of hot sauce, and cooking up a plantain will add a little over $2 to the total, make it $3 for the whole meal.

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[–] yesman@lemmy.world 80 points 4 days ago (11 children)

Hamburger helper is bullshit. They give you some dry noodles and a "spice" pack of dubious powder, you have to provide the beef and milk. That's not helping very much.

[–] SailorFuzz@lemmy.world 29 points 4 days ago (2 children)

for real, and it's not even enough noodles. So you end up adding more noodles too... at that point you're paying for a box with some "spice" in it.

[–] gastroglizzy@piefed.social 22 points 4 days ago

But by the time you add enough beef and noodles to it, there's not enough spice and it's all bland. So you gotta add extra spice. May as well just cook.

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[–] fonji@sopuli.xyz 16 points 3 days ago (12 children)

Money aside, beef has a horrible environmental impact. Pork (as found in hot dogs) is way better.

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, I think the total land used for cattle equals the entire landmass of north america too.

I love beef, I love hamburgers, but it's pretty clearly unsustainable.

I suspect beef prices are only going to go up and they'll never come down ever again.

[–] otterpops@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I was wrong

It's actually the size of north and south America

[–] otterpops@sopuli.xyz 0 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

that map uses flawed methodology

it counts almost all crop land as feed land

most crops are grown for human food oil fiber or fuel

the parts fed to animals are just secondary co products

feeding residual meal and pulp to livestock avoids waste

[–] kandoh@reddthat.com 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Okay, so roughly speaking, after removing cropland whose main output is human food, oil, fiber, or fuel, and grazing land that could realistically be converted to such cropland, you're left with 49 Texases of land worldwide used for making beef.

https://www.fao.org/4/ar591e/ar591e.pdf

[–] otterpops@sopuli.xyz 1 points 5 hours ago

without examining the source data, there is no way to verify this. the link at the bottom 404s and no other references are given

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[–] remon@ani.social 25 points 3 days ago (4 children)

with real cheese

Yeah, I don't believe that an just the fact you have to say it makes me suspicious.

[–] DrSoap@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago

You add the real cheese in yourself

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

"Actually (mostly) edible!"

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[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 12 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Use Hot Dogs instead of Hamburger in Hamburger fucking Helper?

I think it means we are great again?

Foreign Nations gaze upon our culinary prowess in fear.

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[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Hot Dog Self-Harm Assistant

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[–] blackshirt@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (4 children)

What the hell is this? are you supposed to eat that?

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[–] SolacefromSilence@fedia.io 26 points 4 days ago (4 children)

This is cooking with training wheels and I'm not gonna shit on it.

I hear the comments that you need to add noodles, add more spice... you know that because you started here too. I'm glad this exists to open the door to cooking for yourself, but if you know better, do better.

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 3 days ago (9 children)

The real recession indicator is when they swap Hamburger Helper for Tuna Helper.

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[–] WiseScorpio@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Try it with Ramen instead of hot dogs for even cheaper calories /s

[–] T00l_shed@lemmy.world 27 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Give yourself so much hypertension that the inevitable heart attack is so quick you won't need to worry about paying medical bills

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[–] myyass@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

T-rumps in a blanket.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago

Try with dog food!

[–] dektep@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

I mean pasta with meat in it isn't that weird. Other than macaroni the only other thing in the box is the powder you make the sauce with. Is that the insane part?

[–] dektep@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

read the ingredients!

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 20 points 4 days ago (4 children)

I think this was designed with poverty in mind in the first place

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[–] the_riviera_kid@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

We did this all the time when I was a kid, my dad would make macaroni and cheese and toss in some hot dogs. It was delicious then and its delicious now.

[–] shartgargle@lemmy.zip 11 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Hell I still do it, ESPECIALLY when the kid isn't around. Finally, I get the whole pot!

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This shit will raise your cholesterol like nothing else.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 4 days ago (5 children)

I call this the dinner I most often had as a kid.

Uh yeah we were poor.

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[–] Polisheocket@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago

I call it my childhood

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 6 points 3 days ago (4 children)

A waste of money.

Box of elbow macaroni, 1/4 block of velvita and a single hot dog is WAY less than that box

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[–] Ironrod@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Wait, so it doesn't come with ground beef? Is it just mac n cheese then?

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (11 children)

Hamburger Helper has always just been the noodles and sauce packs.

It's Hamburger HELPER, not Hamburger Offerer.

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[–] overkrill@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)
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[–] answersplease77@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

This shit taste good. I once microwaved and ate this on a plate. My ex looked at me and said that I eat puke like dog. I didn't flinch I was happy eating that like a dog eating puke indeed

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