Comradeship // Freechat

I'm almost twice your age and I can say the fact you re here and asking this means you are already ahead of where I was at that age. I didn't understand shit about the world and certainly nothing involving communism. I have no idea what really to off as far as getting along with people. I was always very introverted and awkward, BUT what I will say is this: Take care of your body. Eat as best you can, get good sleep, and fucking exercise. There is no regret I have more in my life, then being so out of shape and I'll riven at that age comrade. Take care of yourself before it's too late to take care of yourself. And for the love of God if you work out be safe. Don't do an extra set of reps because you are feeling good. Do what the plan says. Practice your form. Stretch well. Etc.

So I don't know your situation but I will say as someone who was 20 all of 5 years ago and who now works with 19-21yr olds, I don't think your feelings are necessarily unique (as unfortunate as that might sound). This is often a time of transition for those of us who are privileged enough to have compulsory secondary education, either going into college, uni or work, which can be very daunting and nerve wracking.

Youth (people aged up to 30yrs) face a number of distinct struggles that are foisted upon them when they have hormonal imbalances, limited experience and lower brain development. Feeling alienated from others and distressed is not a unique response.

This is part of the reason why Communist Parties have Young Communist Leagues, which are (ideally) responsive to needs of their younger membership. I would consider joining one of those if you can/haven't already. You might find that joining a YCL or a club with a similar purpose might help you "find your tribe". This should not be seen as the limit of your social escapades and making and maintaining friendships with non-communist friends is important. Some of my oldest friends are anti-communist but the time I spend with them rejuvenates me because we do things and talk about things enjoy and they genuinely care for me.

Similarly important to your social wellbeing (vis-a-vis your mental health) is ensuring you are eating, exercising and sleeping properly. Considering that dialectical materialism argues that a material base determines an ideological superstructure, it is indeed communist to maintain your physical well being (as evidenced by the emphasis placed on this in the Soviet Union).

Make sure that as you are going throughout your day that you are taking note of how certain interactions and events make you feel and give yourself some time and an outlet in an attempt to release the stress that builds up. This can be journaling, poetry, meditation, talking to someone you trust, going to the gym, playing a sport, going for a walk, listening to calming music, volunteering, watching a funny video (fun with friends and family), playing a board/video game (fun with friends and family). A combination of any or all of these is recommended so long as they wok for you.

Some distressing events can still be affecting you even if they happened a long time ago, especially if you are idle (one of the curses of unemployment). I went through something distressing this summer and it still bothers me although this has lessened since I started to fill my schedule up with school, work and Party work.

Krupskaya, writing in 1932, proposed that a YCL must wage a struggle for knowledge, necessitating serious knowledge for socialism, the ability to apply this knowledge, an understanding of Marxism-Leninism and a capacity to work with the methods and in the spirit of Marxism-Leninism. This is a never ending process, as a comrade much more experienced than myself told me: one does not join a Communist Party a communist but rather to become a communist, a process that never truly ends. Thus your task at this moment, as I see it, is to learn more about the world while participating, as you can, in proletarian and youth institutions.

Be kind to yourself; even if it doesn't seem that way, you are needed by me, by the others here, by your friends and family, and ultimately by the international working class.

First off, don't sweat it too much and be kind to yourself. Chances are that you will do a lot of stupid things that you will cringe at in 10 years. We were all clueless young adults who made all sort of stupid mistakes, it's a normal part of the human experience and it doesn't make you any lesser. Accept, learn and grow.

Secondly, realize you are not immortal. Your body has limits that will become more and more apparent as time passes. Be kind to it and don't make your organs' job much harder than it has to be, it will only come to bite you in the ass once you're past your mid 20s and your fast regen gets disabled. I touch computers and I wish I took better care of my back, now I do physical therapy to fix the effects of my neglect

Related to that, dude weed/booze/hard drugs lmao isn't a personality. I knew a lot of these types in my early 20s and you'll probably run into them too. Every one of those things are perfectly fine in moderation but the negative consequences of abuse are absolutely real and you aren't going to dodge them for too long. Be the boring party pooper who knows their limits and takes care of their body and you will thank yourself for it eventually. Practice harm reduction, educate yourself on anything you think about consuming, know the interactions, remember you can always take more but never less and just stay away from anything mind altering that's not prescribed by a psychiatrist when you are in a rough spot with your mental health.

I think you mentioned before that you are neurodivergent. Find your people. Even a single person who understands how your brain is wired makes a huge difference. I have ADHD and it helps a lot to have one safe person I can vent to about ADHD things who won't hit me with Have you tried WILLPOWER or say uninformed bullshit about the medication that greatly improved my life because DrUgS. People tend to carry a lot of unexamined ableism and it can get very exhausting when you have an invisble mental condition.

This was mentioned before but it's extra important for anyone neurodivergent: learn to not give a shit about what people think and about socially enforced measures of success. It's a skill you have to hone through practice but once you manage to stop the impulse to sacrifice your own mental health to please every asshole it's extremely liberating.

Early 20's as several have pointed out, isn't as significant for your life trajectory, but it's a personal crucible for most people. There's a lot of unknown unknowns, you get this independence without the finances or deference that people tend to give to older folks, and you don't know your adult self. All the while there's a panopticon of this idea that you're supposed to have your shit together and be on top of this world being stuffed between your ears.

It's fake though, all of it. The only people that appear to be on top of the world have PR teams that advertise their client like a commodity. There's no super heroes, child genius prodigy, rags to riches billionaire, it's all great man of history fairytales. Don't compare yourself to anyone else, because what we see of others is only what they allow us to see. Instead, compare yourself today to who you were yesterday, or last week, last year, 5 years ago, etc. You have grown, and you are growing more effective and competent at what you put yourself to. There was a time in your life where you couldn't wipe your own ass or tie your own shoes. And every day you live you're growing in ways you can't yet see, but you will. Be gentle with the expectations you put on yourself.

Don't drink heavily, use a condom, and don't waste time with people that make you feel alone.

One thing you learn in your 20s is to stop caring so much what other people think and stop judging yourself according to other people's standards. This has made me now in my mid 30s much more of a relaxed, calm and overall balanced person, able to prioritize what is important and shrug off what really, at the end of the day, is not all that important at all. This is just something that you learn as you grow as a person, as you hopefully acquire the skills to be a functional adult. Most of all you should not expect to have figured all of this out in your early 20s already. You are only just starting and you need to be patient and forgiving with yourself as you make mistakes.

Don't listen too much to other peoples experiences. So many people have the 20s built up as the most important years of your life. Truth be told they can go either way. Mine were pretty boring and harsh but my 30s have been deeply satisfying in comparison.

20s being hyper significant is a psyop (I am half-joking). It can matter what you do early on, but main thing is make sure to look after your health to the extent that you can (like flossing your teeth and such) because habits that neglect your health will do damage over time even if it doesn't seem like it matters as much when you're younger. And the more embedded unhealthy coping mechanisms become, the harder it will be to change them when you're busy and dealing with stressful adult shit.

The rest of it is more variable than people make it out to be. I know somebody who started law school in his twenties but couldn't finish it then cause of the cost and finished it later in his forties (after lots of career stumbling about from here to there to make ends meet).

There are people who get married in their twenties and seem like they have their life together, but then get divorced later after kids in the picture make everything more complicated.

If you live under an individualist, capitalist state, expect some turbulence and understand that no matter what choices you make, there isn't really such a thing as an ideal life (at least not under that hellscape of a system). You can "do everything right" and still have things go wrong. You can do lots wrong and still have things work out in the end. Just do something, so that when you're looking back, you can say, hey, I did that stuff during my twenties. It doesn't need to be super significant or conventionally standout. Just make sure you're living rather than hiding away from life; I say that as someone diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. But even I still have stuff I did in my 20s that I can look back on as something, even if it wasn't always meeting conventional milestones.

If I could do my 20s over again (and make intention reality - sometimes willpower part is hard), I'd probably get more exercise, eat less crappy food, have a regimented sleep schedule, and seize the means of production.

Are you currently struggling, and want advice on how to get through it or are you currently facing anxiety about the possibility of struggling a lot?

In any case, it’s true that if you have any underlying mental conditions, they can get worse in your 20s because you get more responsibilities and become more independent. My early 20s was full of high highs and low lows. It started off amazingly because I had gotten more confident, had a lot more agency over my life and a large social network. However I had a few times where I crashed mentally because I had several mental conditions that I wasn’t very aware of, and my coping mechanisms were not sustainable. If I had been more aware of my mental state, and had learned to notice my own body signals for when I am not well, I could’ve probably avoided those crashes. Since you already seem to be pretty aware of your state of being, you have a head start on me and have the potential to already think about your potential pitfalls and work on ways to avoid them. The fact that you made this post is already a good sign as it shows you’re capable of asking help when you need it. What other actions can you take to work towards trust in yourself?

i think its important to find like-minded people / people you actually like spending time with

It's pretty cool if you're gaining independence for the first time. For me, the early 20s period was finally getting out from under my parents and learning to live on my own, cook stuff, all of that. "Onset of schizophrenia, personality disorders" sounds pretty suspect to me. Just hang out and have as good of a time as you can.

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just enjoy it and try new things and don't worry so much about it

First of all, you are absolutely not wrong. You are not crazy. Nearly everyone you meet is both stupid and deeply evil. I am not kidding.

Fortunately, most people have a fear of other people seeing that evilness and stupidity, and try to at least pretend, and cover it up.

That said, you lose nothing by treating everyone, even the brutes and the bullies, with kindness and patience, to the degree that you are willing to expend the emotional energy required.

Don't waste your time worrying about what other people are thinking. Just treat everyone with a baseline level of kindness.

If someone mistreats you, do your best to avoid such people. If you feel trapped around such people, remind yourself that this situation is not permanent. In the meantime, focus on yourself -- improve control over your emotional reactions in the difficult moment. Practice staying calm. Do not give outside observers a reason to take the side of your oppressor.

Practice meditation. Train yourself to be aware of your nervous system. Try to notice your breathing. If it is too shallow, breathe a little more deeply.

Also remember to forgive yourself. We all mess up. We're all pretty stupid and at least a little bit evil. Focus on changing what you have the power to change about yourself. Because nobody else is going to change themselves for you.

(Don't read too much into my use of the word evil. I am using the secular definition, not the religious one.)

Always remember, you are worthy of love and compassion.

And finally: get lots of sleep, rest, healthy food, and exercise. Avoid substance abuse, especially alcohol. When you stay healthy, you will be best prepared for the trials this world will without a doubt bring you.