this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2026
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Strap yourself on?
No, thats her job.
Why don't they leave these in the draws in hotels instead of bibles ?
Significantly less threatening than this book:
Yum yum in the tum tum
I heard there was a grimoire and came as fast as I could.
Funny you should mention that, i have a book here that may help us with those results
Marry her. True love will follow.
Men can practise witchcraft too
Hell yea brother. She tried to dominate you but you control the source! Draw a pentagram on her lower back to lock her in!
Well now, there's a thought. We even come with a nearly inexhaustible supply of the primary material component for the spell too.
Help her with supplies for her spell obviously
Brace for the wild ride
Guys wallet, guys lighter so therfore guys semen book. There are no girls in this storey
What's a guys lighter?
I assume a dark color like black and not something pink, but i dont speak for all men some guys might perfer pink bics
I guess we'd be summoning the Chinese cum yokai
Bust a load on the cover and close the drawer.
I'm a helper!
As a heterosexual woman, I would certainly be confused. I would read it, though.
Everybody who’s ever seen “What We Do in The Shadows” knows witches are semen stealers.
Ask them about it. That’s a wild title and it’s a well worn book. There’s gotta be some interesting stories behind it.
Why is the witch in the cover art pouring a black liquid into the goblet? Is that... Should it look...
Guys, have I been doing this wrong??
It's what happens if you eat too much black licorice.
Ask her if she has everything she needs in the book and if she has enough stock.
Realize how desperate she was and that explains why she settled for me and maybe we'll actually have a long-lasting relationship where I don't have to be worried every day that it'll finally be the day she figures out she is too good. Also maybe participate in any rituals that sound fun.
I'll have a chuckle, then I won't mind it, because it's a crush so my judgment is impaired. Time will pass, and from one shitty tarot reading to yet another zodiac tantrum, not forgetting about the lithotherapy pushes, I will slowly come to see that my partner has an output on reality that is completely disconnected from said reality, in which I will feel lonelier and lonelier, until I'm not even feeling like I'm in a couple anymore: I'm the companion of a child in an aging body who has to believe in the magical to cope with the world, instead of being in it with me.
If it's all steming from traumas, I'll first try to have the partner consult a therapist.
If it's not, this couple is over. There is no difference between that and AI psychosis. Same with religious partners.
I'm sorry for whatever happened to you.
Color me surprised, it's real! https://www.amazon.de/Sexual-Witchcraft-Semen-Rituals-dominate/dp/B0FH5B1S1D
How is it possible that this has Zero reviews?
Be the change you want to see.
I know everyone is having fun with this, but the actual answer for me is to get out of dodge. That's a flavour of crazy I don't feel like dealing with.
Besides, getting a man to like you isn't that difficult.
That sounds like you're in for some incredible sex with maybe an unstable person.
No need to worry. They're probably desperate for either a loving partner or some other long term relationship. So I might have found a potential red/green flag.
How does a vasectomy affect the spells?
Crush harder
Buy it, read it, bond with her over our mutual love of books.
Read it, obviously. There's bound to be all sorts of wacky shit in that tome.
Lobster font has become endemic, it's truly everywhere.
I'm married to a witchy women. It's great. Green flags all around except I have never seen that book specifically but looks like fun
Talk about consent, set some boundaries, then ask which one I can help with because I'm interested in learning more. This mutual desire to explore strange things is probably why we got together and got to know each other in the first place.
I’d definitely ask her about it first 😂 That’s one book I wouldn’t pretend I didn’t see
take them on a date to see obsession
Steal it and sell it on ebay, along with everything else I can get.
If she's your "crush" it's not reciprocal. It's better to face that fact and move on, but no reason you can profit.
Her fault for letting her stalker in her house.
I’d question why Mr.bunnys is doing semen-Magiks without me
It clearly worked, because she's your crush!
10rule
Make sure to not leave so much as a hair in her place when you bail. She's the type of crazy to put a curse on you... or try, at least.