yeah can i get uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh
bean
this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2026
195 points (94.5% liked)
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If you bump into my dad getting his ciggies, tell him to come home already.
A hug.
🫂
thank u
New US president, please.
I'm not in the United States, bro. Nothin' I can do. Sadness.
I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda
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Could you grab me some ram? I was going to take out a mortgage to upgrade my computer, but then I realized I don't own any property
Okay but like, time for real shit. I am in Korea. I went to a thrift store and got his beat the fuck up looking Thinkpad T480 for like $25. No shit. I take it home and take it apart. You know what I see? I got a Samsuing NVMe 2tb and fucking 2 32gb of Crucial DDR4 RAM chips. NO SHIT!
So uh... in real life? Come to Korea and peruse the fucking thrift shops.
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They are expensive to feed.
Can you grab me a can of striped paint from the hardware store?
Can't afford the chequered stuff?
You gotta specify horizontal or vertical striped paint.
Nah, it's fine, I can just turn the can sideways
Large pizza with the works, add pineapple.
Got it, pal. I got you a pizza topped with 4 kinds of cheeses, tater tots, egg, squid, tteokbokki, a sacrificial virgin, ice cream, matcha, boba, spinach, yumyum sauce, sleeping powder, and pineapple just like you wanted!
When they're dragging out the capers and honey, you know they're giving you the Works.
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I'll take "the sweet release of death" if you can find it anywhere on a good sale price. Thanks bro.
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World peace, and if that's not available, some cheese and onion chips.
Let me know if they have any will to live in stock
They were all out of it, too. :(
A revolution
A rollback to Harambe please. It was the first domino
Can you get me some meds? I think I'm experiencing a manic episode.
...oh oops, I read "meds" as "maids"
Yo, you still want some maids, bro?
Dude! In my country, MAID can be medically assisted suicide. Make sure ya get the right kind of maid!
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Can you grab me some democracy while you're out?
Four whole chickens and a Coke.
Yeah, free palestine while you're out. Cheers.
Maybe some good news?
A tallboy, some boner pills, and a clean t shirt.
Yeah can you get me a box of blowjobs?
A Cinnamon Toast Crunch shake. Get two, because you’ll want one. They’re better than they have any right to be. It’s just a vanilla shake with Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal mixed in.
Yeah i'mma need one too
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