this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2026
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[–] Redacted@lemmy.zip 208 points 5 days ago (10 children)

Bin laden and its not close

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 99 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Western educated man who is pissed off at the US for abandoning his political ascension? Slightly better than a meth addicted turboracist, a crazy murderer, and a child molester. I doubt bin Laden is going to be able to do much opinion changing in a single evening and I doubt that he'd outright kill or molest them.

[–] gastroglizzy@piefed.social 64 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Bin Laden fathered 24 children, the first of which was with his first cousin when she was 16 and he was 17. They went on to have ten more children. The other 13 were spread amongst five other wives. They also found several beheading videos on his computer. He also believed muslims should kill any US civilians they find until the US withdraws support for Israel.

I think definitely killing and maybe molestation would be on the table.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 68 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

He was a wealthy politician first, revolutionary like fifth. Shit, you're right, molestation is on the table.

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Bin Laden loved his kids. Part of the reason he moved to that compound in Pakistan was because he wanted his kids to have a semblance of a normal life. He's discuss politics with is Eldest daughters. When he was captured he was found asleep with his youngest son.

Not even remotely close. I saw him first and before seeing the rest of the faces I already knew that this was an usian thing so he was going to be "a major evil".

Fact is, aside religion, we'd have a lot in common, including hating the US so, if any, it would give for an interesting evening for my kids and a more interesting post-evening chat with him.

The other 3, in my eyes, are way, waaaaaaaaaaaaaay worse.

[–] dan69@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

The man had multiple wives and multiple kids. All of which where taken care of financially- so ya seconded

Bin Laden could be trusted because from what I know he never purposely wanted kids targeted. One murdered several children, one murdered too many to count in concentration camps as well as ordering soldiers to do it because he didn't see them as human. The last one was a sex pest and I wouldn't trust kids with.

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[–] anarchy79@lemmy.world 15 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Osama, easy. He's a family man and would show absolute respect and kindness towards the child as is the custom of his religion and his culture.

He has nothing against children and has a big household with other kids mine can play with.

My child will also be damn safe there and get great food.

Such an easy contest.

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[–] vala@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 4 days ago

Osama for sure.

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 32 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Hitler liked Children and Dogs, so "Say Hello to Mr. Adolf, kids!"

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[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 44 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Tbh the biggest danger that would come from having bin Laden babysit your kids is the possibility of them being killed in a drone strike.

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[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

TIL that Hitler isn't the "Worst" option for everything lol

[–] CrimeIsLegalNow@ani.social 15 points 4 days ago

Depends on how white you are I guess.

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 23 points 5 days ago

I think im going bin laden

[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 54 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

I know for a fact Bin Laden had games and the movie Cars on his computer. Safest bet.

[–] Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Ugh he's an arsenal fan.

Not in my house!

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[–] hraegsvelmir@ani.social 14 points 5 days ago

Pretty sure I remember seeing he had a bunch of Naruto fansubs on his computer, too. He could even watch your weird kid and keep them entertained for the night.

[–] bampop@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

I don't know who top left is, but I reckon Bin Laden's the safe bet here

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[–] lokalhorst@feddit.org 23 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Top left: Lindsay Clancy - Apparently strangled her 3 kids, there is an ongoing process in the US right now

Top right: Osama Bin Laden - Former boss of the Taliban in Afghanistan and responsible for 9/11

Bottom left: Adolf Hitler - Leader of the German NSDAP and responsible for the Holocaust and WW2

Bottom right: Sean Combs aka P. Diddy - US musician, multiple cases of sexual violence and rape, and proliferation of prostitution

[–] m4xie@lemmy.ca 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

There is no question that she strangled them. The court is trying to determine whether she was sufficiently sane at the time to be held culpable.

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[–] Impractical_Island@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Osama bin Laden cuz I work with the CIA too.

[–] badlotus@discuss.online 39 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Bin Laden unless you have twins.

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[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago (1 children)

My three kids are in their 20's. Assuming there are no weapons involved, I'd say they're safe with any of them.

Bin Laden, Hitler, and Combs would each have a rough night. Lindsay would probably be ok. If necessary, they could restrain her without injuring her.

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 22 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Osama bin Laden loved his kids. He was hard on them, for sure, he was basically what you imagine when you think of a deep south US prepper survivalist - a bit eccentric and paranoid, but intelligent - he would be taking his kids on long hikes, teaching them how to sleep in the desert with only sand as a blanket, but he did it out of a deep desire to protect them and give them skills to survive.

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[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 27 points 5 days ago (13 children)

Tbh, I don't know who the lady is

[–] Tempus_Fugit@lemmy.world 24 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

I think that's the lady currently on trial for murdering her three kids.

[–] Tylerdurdon@lemmy.world 28 points 5 days ago

Now I know, and

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[–] Axolotl_cpp@feddit.it 13 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Bin laden i guess, the other option is a child murderer, a child molester or the corpose of THE nazist soo

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[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Just leave them home alone.

Alternatively, you reckon Osama could teach them basic engineering skills? If they are making phone-activated landmines surely they can put up some fun RF experiments.

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[–] 100_kg_90_de_belin@feddit.it 10 points 5 days ago

I'd pass the Nurnberg check, so Hitler would a solid first-round pick. It's a toss about who would gendercode my kids more between him and Bin Laden. Lindsay What's-Her-Name and P. Diddy are automatic no's.

[–] Rhaedas@fedia.io 21 points 5 days ago

It's scary that not all of the choices are the same level of risk.

[–] SaltyIceteaMaker@lemmy.ml 19 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

ngl, since im a white, cis, heterosexual, non-jewish, german: probably hitler. i dont think he was the kinda guy that would kill children just because he could. if these children happened to have like, a jewish mother, things would definitely look different

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[–] TheReanuKeeves@lemmy.world 20 points 5 days ago (8 children)

Well I'm not jewish...so...

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[–] realitaetsverlust@piefed.zip 15 points 5 days ago (9 children)

Honestly, as much as this surprises me, but from those 4 options, my kids would probably be safest with hitler. I assume the first woman is the one that just killed her 3 kids, so that's a fundamental NOPE, diddy, yeah nah, that guy is just weird. So it boils down to the islamic terrorist and the cocaine-addicted, so I'd just give it hitler and hope he has a good day without thaaaaat much cocaine.

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[–] Return_of_Chippy@lemmy.world 18 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I'll check back in a few hours, I have a feeling this'll be a dumpster fire.

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[–] anas@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago (4 children)

We’re not actually reposting incel memes on Lemmy, are we?

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