Besetzt
this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost
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I say βoccupado!β And Iβm not even Spanish
"Estoy Poopin!"
Works better to tell them you're embarrassed, or "embarazado" en espaΓ±ol π
"welcome! please have a sit"
No room at the Inn, Mary
"IT'S NOT FOR SALE"
I usually shout "one minute", "just a moment" or "in here". For some reason people like to try the door again when i say "one minute", though.
"It's the REINFORCEMENTS! HUZZAH!"
Will you help me hide a body?
I always say "come in" - no one has ever tried to come in. π
Because the door stays locked?
"Who's there?"
"No solicitors"
"I'm full"
No solicitorsβ
Lawyer turns red and openly shits themselves
"Come back with a warrant!"
Sorry babe Iβm flying solo today
Occupied.
Fuq orf am shiten
"come in!"
All fun and games until your bluff gets called
It's no bluff
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"I am the gatekeeper! Are you the keymaster?"
I would like to share this timeless classic
<cassius_clay13> so I was with my friend bryan the other night in a bar
<cassius_clay13> well he got really drunk and said he was gonna puke
<cassius_clay13> so i helped him walk to the toilet
<cassius_clay13> all the stalls were occupied
<emoti_conartist> lol
<cassius_clay13> bryan is a rugby player... so a big guy
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking KICKS one of the stall doors open
<cassius_clay13> and there's this guy in there taking a shit
<emoti_conartist> hahahahahaha
<cassius_clay13> and bryan throws up ALL OVER HIM
<cassius_clay13> then (this is genius) bryan thinks 'oh shit... if i were taking a shit and someone came in and was sick all over me, i'd want to fuck him up... so i'd better hit him first'
<cassius_clay13> so he fucking SMACKS this guy in the face
<cassius_clay13> and runs away
<cassius_clay13> imagine being that guy... WORST NIGHT OUT EVER
Wow. Bryan sounds like a shit head. Good for him to keep stereotypes alive.
Just lads being lads, what a ledge π€
(The Lads on Tour movement needs to end fast)
"Come on in, I kept the seat warm for you"
"Our cheeks have shared the same seat. We are butt brothers."
"There's no door on this side, go around!"
"Cover charge is $10"
"Nein! Ich habe farfrompoopen!"
farfrompoopen
https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=farfrompoopen
A situation in which nature calls for you to visit the bathroom, yet you cannot perform the act of defecation.
Occupied
"Just a sec, I'm doing the paperwork!"
OCCUPIED!
But what's weird is that 99% of the time I have no idea what to say in any given situation, but this public restroom scenario just came naturally to me one day and still comes naturally to me every time. That's weird isn't it? Like I'm only comfortable & functional in the most uncomfortable situations π€¦πΌββοΈ
Ask them if they want to play battle shits?
If we're thinking of the same movie, those "British" accents were so bad that they've stuck with me for 20 years.
I saw the movie ONCE
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βCome in!β
Followed by an earth-shattering shart
Occupado
"What's the password?"
"If my ass you wish to see, answer this riddle to me"
"I've got the stuff, do you have the money?"
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"Fuck off" making sure to shout it as loud as the knock.
view more: next βΊ