I have never been more right and yet so wrong about the contents of a link....

Okay, who’s nutting in food?

Dear god, don't post this on Reddit. People will die.

This reminds me of my high school days. In health class, we were taught that a healthy digestive system had at least one bowel movement per day. Throughout the course, we were also encouraged to promote generic healthy habits with our friends, family, and classmates; basically help each other stay accountable with their health and nutrition.

One of my friends took this to heart. He started going up to people - literally anyone - and asking in a concerned tone, "Did you poop today?"

If they gave any answer besides "yes," he would go off about all the health benefits associated with a daily bowel movement and what kinds of healthy foods and exercises would assist in having one. He would even offer to provide moral support from outside a bathroom stall if they needed it.

We all got a kick out of how deadpan and serious he played it. When the teacher asked him to knock it off, he insisted he was just concerned about promoting healthy habits, then would ask her if she had also pooped that day. To a room full of teenagers, there's nothing more hilarious than asking a teacher if she's pooped. No matter her response, the whole room was rolling in raucous laughter.

It's been over 20 years since then, and every time we meet in person, he still greets me with, "Did you poop today?"

What if I sit on the toilet the cheat day and two shits come out? D:

I thought this was in July.

I know it's a joke, but technically possible on a water fast. I'm not recommending it, but not actually impossible.

That reminds me of the post from (I think) three years ago where a guy asked what to do to not have to shit for a week or so. That was some quality content

I think lemmy's apparent propensity for avoiding shitting is way funnier than whatever that bean business was. Why don't you just do that whenever there's too many politics in the shitpost community?

Oh this brings back unpleasant memories of my first month in military service in Germany 20 years ago... very, very unpleasant memories...

Hmm, is trying to curb shitting appropriate for the shitpost community?

Followed by colon cancer awareness October